Cause and Effect

I seek refuge from the cast off satan, the cursed. In the name of Allah, Most gracious, Most merciful. Peace be upon you.

Well, i've been busy lately and finally found a bit of time to blog. I wonder what kept me busy despite not having to go to work or school. Haha. I realised that the blogs of others are strewned with pictures, mine are only with words. Well, i guess thats me. It had been and will be part of me.

Cause and effect. That the talking point for today.

Many a times, when we do or say something, we do not think of the repercussion. The words or actions \during emotional turbulence has a lot of disastrous implication for which we don't realise or when we realise, the damage had been done. There are times when we can repair the damage but there are times when the damage is permanent and there's no repair for it.

I fall to the category of those who have poor emotion management. Be either the good emotions or the bad emotions. Thats my weakness. Its a known secret. For those who put me to the test, behold, i might blow. I want to change, change for the better but it seems that this is an uphill task. I hope i will change.

Also, when others do something, even the slightest thing. I will ask questions. I've been like that. Its actually not a good thing to ask questions. I know that and i just hope i will change that too. When these questions don't get answer, i will analyze the content/situation and deduce my own answer. On many occasion, the answer that i deduce just demoralise me and make me feel like crap. It breaks my world apart especially when it involves a loved one. Thats why i like to ask and get answer. Preferably, when the question is already in my mind, the person give me an answer. Well, no one can read my mind though.

Things are getting back to square one. I am going back to where i start a few years back. The good things are getting lesser and the rubbish are getting more. I've seen first hand, a friend of mine who changed 360 degrees after a failed relationship. Maybe, i may be in that league of guys, maybe not. May Allah, protect me from the negative aspect of life and make my time on His earth a meaningful one to everyone including Him.

At this moment, though, its back to square one. I feel like i am in year 2007. I don't know how things are going to improve. I just hope it will.

Part of me is telling myself to isolate myself from everything and everyone. Maybe, by coming back to Bishan, i've started to move backwards and not forward. In terms of everything. I guess i am coming back to the age when i was 18 and had nothing.

Oh Allah, please lift out of this challenge with success. Nonetheless, i guess its something i can handle. Just a matter of how to. No words can describe the stage i am going through. Its only Him who can help me now. I have no one else. Well, i never had anyone who understands me thoroughly. I hope i had and i hope i will.

All praise and gratitude is due to Allah, the Lord and Sustainer of the worlds.

Peace be upon you.