Platonic or not

I seek refuge from the cast off satan, the cursed. In the name of Allah, the compassionate, the merciful. Peace be upon you.

I've been keeping this. Well, i guess i wish for something. Maybe a few things. I just need a break. A getaway. If i can afford it that is. I was also thinking that somehow, since last time, i need a girlfriend. What i mean here is a female friend, for a platonic relationship. Somehow, if i get someone who is presentable and of course she must be able to connect. I used to have a few but now they are gone. Sometimes feelings can spoil a friend. I just wish that if i find someone who is suitable to be a platonic female friend, i must take care of that friendship and just treat her like a sister. Not to let my emotions and feelings spoil that friendship. I used to have it with Cherry and Jessie. We decide to commit then things don't work out. Now, back to square one. I'm single again. Declaring it officially after 1 week. Now, just have to seek solace. As i've said in the past, i'm a master pretender. Pretending things to be ok on the surface but actually its not. haha. Its ok, i guess i just have to settle my problems alone. May Allah bless me. Insyallah.

Sometimes things we ask for we don't get. I always wanted women like this and like that. Life like this and like that. Education like this and that. Want to become this and that. But don't get it. Maybe i am not trying hard enough. I've found something in relation to that and its below at the end of this post.

All praise and gratitude is due to Allah, the Lord and Sustainer of the worlds. Peace be upon you.

"Fighting is prescribed for you, and ye dislike it. But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not".

Surah Al-Baqarah, Ayat 216