Life oh Life

Well, first and foremost i am sorry. I know what i've said hurt you but even if we are not together it does not give you the right to ruin your life and live life in misery. Now, i just want to be alone. I need someone to talk to. My band of the brothers can truly understand me. We just know when to listen and when to advice. But i can't totally depend on them as they have their own commitments. Thats the reason why i prefer to be alone if not around them. NO ONE will understand when i come from and what i am going through.

Sometimes people just pretend to be your friend. They can joke and make fun of you but when its your turn, they get offended. Life oh life. Such people are not worth the friendship. Lately, trouble with her, now trouble in school and trouble at work.

The clouds are getting more and more grey by the day. Well, i just accept it in my stride. Like what mommy says, the closer you get to Him the more he will challenge you and test if your faith is strong.

Well, life oh life, accept it, learn from it, move on and be a stronger person.

Life never suck. I made my life suck. Now, its time for me to get out of this sucky life. I must survive. I owe to many people too many things. I need to repay them.

Pretenders stay away. Today i might be in this state. Its ok. I will, will try hard to improve this life. Sad to say, life is full of pretenders. Time is shorter. Challenges are getting harder.

Understand me to love me. I mean no harm to anyone. I am the way i am because of lousy upbringing. But everyday i ask myself, where can i improve. How do i be a better man.

And the challenges continue. Death is not so easy thus i've forgotten about it altogether. Perseverance, endurance and patience continue for now. With His will, success shall be there.

Why must you do this?

You must make me hate you. When i can't control myself and react negatively towards your doings, i get blamed.

Just because i want us to go our own ways you must do things to hurt me. To make me feel like crap. You are not the only one with the com down. My net is also down.

One ex-girlfriend who ruined her life because of me already make me feel like crap. Now its your turn. You must get yourself fired and blame others.

Nvm, you want to do this to me. Its ok. I promise you, you shall not hear from me anymore. Its a promise.

You bloody bitch must play this fucking mind game with me. Just like my bloody bastard father. You all are a bunch of motherfuckers. Get lost from my life you idiot motherfuckers. FUCK OFF.


No one will understand the hurt i am feeling now. Its ok. I've got my baby waiting for me at the carpark. You want to do this. Nvm, just don't regret your actions. Don't ever play mind games with me. Intentionally or not. I admit, I WILL LOSE but I SWEAR, I WILL HATE YOU TILL I DIE.

The lie

And i've successfully lied. I'm sorry if that line hurt you or what. Just that i want to be alone i guess. I'm sorry for lying to you. I just hope that in my next relationship, the girl won't treat me like that.

I'm no longer interested in relationships i guess. I never change i guess. The temperantal Wandi is still around. It hurts to let go of you cause just like me i know you need guidance. I never had any other girlfriend or cheated or you. That i know.

For now, the vow of silence shall begin. Lets enjoy the quietness of the earth.

The leopard that never loses his spots

Well, i guess i never change. One percent of my anger has not reduced. Omg, life oh life. Well, maybe i've been putting a lot of effort in other aspect of life but not controlling my anger. How i do control my anger?

And it saddens me that one more of my family members, my niece is going through the same rubbish as i went through. Now my niece got problems. Once again, the Almighty who gives us problems is giving me another problem. Rest assured, for every problem He gives, He also gives a solution. I shall seek that solution that you have hidden and make sure what i go through my niece don't go through. Its sad. Its good to have kids around. But for them to go through such torture is a sad sight :(

Try Wandi try.

Tricky Road

Life seems to be very tricky...

One problem solved another one pop up. I wonder if its possible to eliminate all problems at once.

School, money, Jessie, personal time. So many things to juggle.

I'm sorry for texting you rather rudely. Very stressed. I've been mistreating my bike lately. It needs a lot servicing :)

And i just realised i'm starting a very bad routine of more than one packets of cigarettes a day. Today, its already 31 sticks.

I wanna sCreAM

I am sorry ok for all those text. I just feel very pressured now. The cash is running dry, the projects are mounting and my sleeping hours are getting lesser as usual.

I just need sometime to get back on track. I am sorry. After i paid you, you took your passport i was left in a disarray. I am lost. I need sometime to get back to normal. Give me sometime to talk to you and all in the future.

But please, get on, spend time with your friends and all. Don't wait for me. I might not come back. If you meet someone else, give that man a chance to prove himself. Just beware of jerks out there. I am sorry. You take care. I hope you read this before going to work. Good night.

Pardon me

I'm sorry for being harsh to you on the phone. Momentarily, i lost my temper. I hope you understand where i am coming from, the situation and my decision. I am really sorry. Please don't dissapoint me by doing rubbish. Compose yourself and enjoy life. There are a lot of things the world has to offer. I am sorry. Once you are emotionally stable we can meet up and talk again. I am sorry. I'm really really sorry.

Untitled

Well, i guess you are angry thats why you rake up things between me and Cherry. I guess you didn't really know what really happened. We are not like what you think we are. Nonetheless, i take it that you are upset thats why you typed those words in your messages. I have no hard feelings for you.

I'm a very bad dilemma.

I feel sad that i have to leave you alone. I really hope that someone will talk to you and comfort you, be there when you need someone to fall back on as i'm no longer there. I guessed i by replying your smses i only make you feel worse thats why i am keeping silent. Once you have gotten over everything, i don't mind us getting back on talking terms, going out and enjoying each other company. Its ok if you assumed i'm no longer walking this earth. If that will help you to move on, its ok. I'm not important. Your future and life is. And henceforth, i no longer can sing MJ I'll Be There. I don't even want to hear that song. Cause i've broken my promise and it hurts to hear that song when i cannot accomplish what they lyrics taught me.

I want to be there for you to comfort you and all but there's something closing the doors of my heart. I am no longer interested in relationship. Not only that, i am no longer interested in being around people after work or school. I just want to be alone. I've rejected my friends for days when they call me out. I just want to keep the steam in my head, reflect, quietness and seek peace in God by being alone. I hope once i've recovered things can go back to normal.

I know you are going through a tough stage. I hope you'll keep your faith strong and lead your life normally. I may no longer be yours, but i will always be there to assist you in whatever you need help in provided its within my means. I hope you don't drown yourself in sorrow and move on. I know its hard. Been in that situation. I'm sorry for breaking my promise. I'm sorry. I've failed you.

Let me be honest and say that i still care, concerned and love you. Contrary to that, something in me is just stopping me for getting back together. I no longer see women how i used to. Yes, i admire their looks and everything but to commit i don't think so i will. In time to come, i know i'll regret this decision as i will need a companion but i guess i still have to go with my decision. I dunno. Something is not right with me. I dunno if its a pyschological effect or what. I just feel very very different. I guess everyone just leave me alone. It will be for my own good.

At this point of time, i know that i can abuse you physically, financially and emotionally. I know you would give in to my words thats why i don't want to get back to you or stay over at your place tonight. I know other guys out there will take this oppurtunity and abuse it but not Wandi. I've destroyed one girl life and i don't want to destroy another. I'm sorry. I respect your a pride and dignity and i don't want to ruin them cause it will have bad impact on your future. I may be cruel, violent and whatever negative adjectives you can think of but i will never disrespect and abuse you. Its ok if others want to do all these cruel things on me. I swear i believe in karma so its ok. Let them do what they want.

I'm sorry for all these suffering. I'm really sorry. I'm losing words now. You please take care of yourself and don't resort to rubbish. I'm sorry. I beg you please don't dissappoint me. I'm sorry for failing you and breaking my promise. I shall not blame you for being evil to me and the failure of this relationship is not your fault ok. Its just some pyschological effect of me. I'm sorry.

Who am i to be blind? Pretending not to see our need

It saddens me to know that someone i left is going through a much bigger problem.

As much as i've tried to hold it back, it just fell. Just like that without me being able to control the flow. A man who claims he will never cry is not strong. He's either lying to you or just being too egoistic. Its rubbish to say no human being has a soft spot. Well, those who know me know where is my weakness. Children, tears and God knows them. Seeing children get mistreated just makes me feel very sad. I'm reminded of me when i was young. Deprived of care, concern, love and affection. Thats the reason for the broken family bond.

As i've said, if i don't love you, we wouldn't have gone this far. I really love, care and want to be with you. However, seeing at our state, i think its advisable we go our own ways. Lets face this fact, we have been leading a rocky relationship for the past 9 months. I said this before and i'll say it again, i don't want my kids to lead a life like mine. Seeing children who are deprived of love just saddens me and give me a sense of hatred towards the adult that mistreat them. I don't want them to lead a life without a mother or father by their side. I don't want them to take a family picture with either one or us not around. I don't want them to go home everyday only seeing one of us. I don't want to tell them that they are deprived of love like how my mum breaks down whenever she speaks about me.

If death do us part, i'll accept it. Its God will and i can't control it but most of the time, separation is not by death. Separation is by divorce. I've seen it, heard about it and gone through it. I know the feeling and psychological effect that it will have on a child. I was one of them. Its not good. Open up your vision and look around. Those juvenile delinquents come from a home like mine. I am thanking God for making me realise early.

We need love, both of us as we've been deprived of it. Me at the age of 6 and you in your secondary school. At the same time, we both need to learn to listen, talk properly and control our emotions. I don't know if giving ourselves another chance will help. I really miss you. At the same time, i am really concerned for your future and my kids future if i have them. I couldn't care less about my happiness. All i want is good health so that i can study and work to raise a happy family not broken family. I know you are a smart girl. You can do it.

About your health, you need not worry about it. My eyes feel very heavy whenever i think about this or read your sms. In my prayers, i always pray that He take me first if He have to and give that lease of life to you. I hope he answer my prayers. I really lose you as my girlfriend as its my choice. If it really happens, I hope he give me the choice to rent my life to you. I just want you to be successful and happy. Its for your own good. Not mine. I'll be happy in the after world to see a successful Jessie.

The next phase

I don't understand why you blogs are always filled with post that reflects badly on our relationship. I see my friends blogs talking about outings, how to enjoy time and etc but ours are only quarrels. Well, it won't happen again. No more quarrels for us. And yeah, don't say i paid for your bills. I was just merely returning you back what is yours. That money belongs to you and i've returned it to you.

I've never received so much emails from you and seen so much activity in your fb. Well, i guess you are moving on. Its good to know that. I hope you are doing fine. And i hope one day we can get back to talk, meet up and etc. For now, i just want to be alone. Don't ask me if i'm having problems and all. Even if i have, my ego will tell the world that i am doing fine.

You take care of yourself. Just remember what i asked from you. For you to be successful. Take care. Just leave me alone. I just want to be alone. I still have feelings of concern and care for you. But i guess its a better decision for us to move on to the next phase of life since we can never solve this personality issue. We come from the same background i guess thats why there is so much trouble. You just take care.

Two Chapter Ended at one go

This father and son saga started and ended in tears. Sr. broke down during the mediation and Jr. broke down too.

The roads tell a thousand stories. Central Expressway towards Braddell Road, 95 km/h. The tears just flowed like a tap with no stop. The Oakley shades are hiding the tears just like how my cheerful personality always the troubles in my life. Everything seemed normal on the surface.

At this speed, i felt like everything is so slow. Like everything was moving in slow motion. Overtaking was so tough and Bishan seemed so far away. Back to the courtroom, the atmosphere was tense. There was no emotions running but things were different when everything was done. I just went home and sleep hoping to sleep the sadness away but then, 22 years of hurt is never easy to forget. What i am today, how i behave now and treat people is a creation of my parents. The upbringing was so poor that now, i am in this state. But then its ok, i thank Him for making me realise my mistake early. Now, i am trying to mend my ways but there are some things that are just so hard to control.

At work, I was in no form to work. Everytime i hit the roads to send order, my eyes will get heavy. I can't let my emotions get over me thus i hold back my tears and until today, whenever i think about what had happened, my eyes get heavy. Just like how it showered on Friday, it feels like i am having showers of tears. When i tried to get people to talk to, everyone seemed occupied. Well, i don't blame them as i know, everyone have their own commitments. Thus, i've a choice. I shall seek solace by being alone and i'll try to keep my faith strong.

I felt so sad that this have to happen. I'm not sad because i only managed to get $200/mth. I felt so sad that i have to bring my own flesh and blood to court just to get money. Like i've said before, its no fun to face your own dad in court. You never showed you cared but when the dust settles, you still came to have a chat with me. Are you trying to infer that you still care? I felt so sad that you are playing this psychological game with me. Why do you have to forsake my happiness for your own? Are you being a responsible father?

At home, my mum will break down everytime she says "You are different, you are deprived of love". The last time she did that was in front of Jessie and Tasha. The emotional hurt you and mum had done to me is beyond repair. Nonetheless, she is trying to make an effort to redeem herself but how about you? Well, maybe you are happy with the judgement and maybe you think you have done your part by giving me a place in poly, my license, laptop and the $700 downpayment for CBR. I am not there to fight for money. I am here in court to make you realise your responsibilities as a father. Well of course its good to have spare cash coming. I am there to make you realise what you have and have not done. Whether you have or not realise, its ok. I did not regret, not a single bit for what i have done but i feel hurt that this have to happen. Nonetheless, my prayers are still with you even if i don't attend your funeral.

All these troubles lead to another trouble. Sometimes i wonder if its my upbringing that makes me into such a person or just me, myself and i. As much as i try to control my temper, there are times when i just can't hold it back. I know my words and actions have hurt you a lot. I am sorry. I am not asking for us to get back together or anything. I am not asking for sympathy. All i am asking for is you to take care of yourself and please work hard, study hard. Don't ruin your life.

This is going to be the toughest stage i guess. I feel like no challenge have been this great. I am no complaining though. For every problem He give, He also provide a solution. In time, i will get that solution. Maybe this is His way of showing us that we are not fated. Maybe He is preventing us to be another part of the divorce statistic. I know you are fired up and hate me now for what i've done and said. Its ok. As i've said, i don't blame you. I am just sorry. Please take care of yourself.

It seems like from young i can never get people to treat me nicely. Or is it that i am just too fussy. Whatever it is, i am going through the toughest of all challenge i've face in my life which affects my inner self. I will just take myself to a quiet place and be alone. I'll just return to my old ways of work and school. Life has just entered another old stage. For now, just to keep to myself. I just want to be alone.

I know i was wrong to lose my temper.

Well, i guess just leave me alone. I've said enough.

And yeah, you can keep the gold chain. Sell it if you wish.

I'll drop your passport and whatever you want at your door.

And i'll also return the money that you lent me.

You are alone

I wanted to talk to someone but everyone is busy.

I wanted to blog but i got BMS which is super overdue, MCT i've yet to kickstart anything and i am working at 1130 hrs tomorrow.

You are alone Wandi. The day have proven something, you are own your own. No one will be with you. I guess the only thing that is accompanying me now is faith and God. Oh well, life have to go on. The struggle continue.

Please don't bother to sms, call, come to my place, message me on facebook, msn, friendster or whatever. Just erase me out of your life. Just leave me alone. I never blamed you for not answering during lunch time when i needed to talk. Lead your life. You've been suffering since the first day you are with me. Today, i'll let you free. I'll open the door to your freedom. Go out and fly like a bird, see the world, enjoy your life. Please, i am begging you, leave me alone. And i'll leave everyone else alone.

The struggle continues again... Don't bother talking or whatever to me if you have nothing good to say or words that aggravate my physchologically unsound mind. Go away everyone. I just want to work and study.

Reliving the days

And yeah, BEAT IT BEAT IT!!! This Is It was good for me not for others. To love that movie, you need to love Michael. Really enjoyed the movie with my dear. Then, it was some hiccups the day after. Luckily, managed to extinguish the problem. Well, like MJ said "Love lives forever". Hopefully, our does. Stop the quarrels and being a whole new life. To make this relationship a better one, we both have to look at ourselves and make that change :)

So yeah, was in school. And yeah, bringing back the days of 1.1. Pics, craziness and yeah, the boys found a new trick. Caught on cam and sound recorder scenes. Sigh. I'm always caught offguard. Pics below.

Time is short. I thought i had a lot of time but then 3 hours just passed. Luckily i managed to get some work done.

And i bothered to dress cause we were going public.

She's always acting cute :)

We were like irritating everyone else with the flash...

Boys at work

Boys fooling around as always

Take five minutes break

The usual haunt for the chimneys... lol

And yeah, 2 videos where i was caught offguard

Good night everyone. Good night. Life is short, make friends not foes.

Love Lives Forever - King of Pop

Relentless Pursuit to Perfection

I was doing my Org Comm project the other day and Jessie said "My boyfriend such a perfectionist". The best part is that only today i realised that i've made a typo error despite reading my scripts umpteen times. Moral of the story, you can never be perfect but then you can try your best to pursue perfection. Added to insult, Amanda so called proof read it. Sigh. I don't want to say anything but i guess you'll can conclude yourself from this paragraph the message i am trying to put across. Nonetheless, she still printed out for everyone a copy of my work for reference. She's putting in effort. She's proving the critics wrong. I pray that she will keep up this effort and Insyallah together we can succeed in this subject.

And yeah, after being given a chance to catch up with some girls in my course during lectures and etc, i realise that its sad to say that people are having a wonderful life. I am not saying my life suck or anything but i still think there's more to improve. I thank Him for blessing me all this while. And most importantly, He kept me safe while i was/am/will be reckless racing through the streets to earn more dockets. Thank you.

For some, its just dollars and cents. Personally, i think money is not enough. The title 'Relentless Pursuit to Perfection'(qouted from Lexus motto) not only gives me the drive to be a rich man one day but it also gives me the motivation to be a good boyfriend, friend, son, worker, student, colleague and whatever you can think of.

Wandi, being a perfectionist is always finding ways to improve myself. But sometimes, to make others happy, i forsake my own happiness and act to be who i am not. But when i be who i am, i make enemies :(

Its not only about money, its about ethics, morals, integrity, honesty, discipline and etc. To others, maybe its all money. To me, its more than that. To save money, i begin by saving the earth. Bit by bit. Lets not be ignorant to our surroundings. Everyone comes from different background and its only right for us to understand them before judging them. To those who have judged me negatively, thank you, cause that show that i've not lost my identity. To those who have judged me positively, thank you more. Cause you have understood Wandi Juma'at life and i pray that our friendship blossom further.

Good night everyone. Good night my dear Jessie sleepyhead. Lets enjoy MJ This Is It come 2150 hrs tonight :)

The Inconvenient Truth

To please others i pretend to be who i am not. I feel unhappy but when i don't i make them unhappy or just make people avoid me. Many a times people misunderstand my kind intentions. Even Jessie misunderstood it at times. How to??? Maybe just stop the pretence and bring myself down to that frequency that they are in. Maybe its time to get off the bike and into the bus.

And yeah, this is general. Not targeting my girlfriend.

Its been sometime since the PIE --> BKE route from JB. Today got it. This 'long' distance riding is fun. Travelling at 95-100 kilos on open roads makes you feel so slow. Its like you are only travelling 70 kilos. The best part is that i feel so relaxed. No rush, no weaving in and out just straight roads and enjoying the corner at Lornie and stuffs :) Kinda tired of short distance and reckless riding. If its not work, its late for school or sending dear to work. Should consider 4 wheels now, since these 2 wheels of mine had and will continue to move my soul.

Kinda glad that i so called managed to control my anger about the money thingy :) Almost blew up. Sorry for those harsh words my dear. Please allow me to take one step at a time. And i hope you do the same too. I would be so happy to see you being a successful women and proving critics wrong.

Good night. Love my dear. Love my friends. Love everyone. Take care.

Come Saturday, the day i've been waiting for. MJ 'This Is It'. Join me. Its only 2 weeks. And its not often you see me in the cinema.

کون فايا کون

Sometimes its hard to accept the fact. Its hard to accept truth.

Maybe, whatever i did was never enough. Maybe whatever i did offended you and made you doubt my love and broke the trust you had in me. I don't blame you. I understand. I know my weaknesses. I am human after all. I tried to control them but there are times when i snap. And whenever i snap, the throttle of my bike will snap too. Don't get me wrong, i don't intend to take this beautiful life god has given me. Its just that i feel so frustrated at times. Just like you, i got no one to talk to. And just like you, i know, i can't afford to fall. No one will pick me. No one will shoulder my fall. My life, its either do or die. I'm sorry for failing to carry out my duties as a boyfriend.

I am sorry for removing your name from my bike and the ring from my fingers. Though, all these 'materials' are removed, your name will never be erased from my heart. You maybe gone, but never forgotten. Those who touched my life, shall not be forgotten. I guess we are different. You need to see objects and etc. I just believe in faith. I believe in you. I guess things are beyond repair now. I never wished for all these to happen. Maybe, this is the retribution God is giving me for blabbering nonsense in times of anger.

Whatever happens. I just want you take care. I just want you to succeed. You have proven to me that you are a smart girl even without my help. Your results have shown. They speak louder than anything else. Once you have regained composure, i hope you take a deep and breath and continue your journey towards success. You take care. I am sorry for all the wrongdoings and harsh words. No matter what happens, i will always remember you in my prayers.

For now, what is going to happen, i will let it be. For He will bring success to whoever that work hard. I hope you fall into that category of whom He will bring success to. Take care. Good night. Have a good rest.

Lost in Time

I was supposed to have Intro to OTCM at 1800 hrs. But i was like kinda lost. Lost in time. Went to do my admin stuffs, used the com at the library. Then at about 1845 proceeded to LT8 (IT) school. Then i saw a notice. Lectures cancelled till the next 2 weeks. Thanks man. Tutorials begin on 26 Oct. Thanks man for making me apply LOA.



Well, i guess something is affecting me badly here.



I don't know why you have to do this. We could sit down and talk nicely to sort things out. Even if we couldn't we don't have to end being enemies. Sigh you take care. I need not express my feelings publicly but like i said, He listens, He sees whats going on. He knows what i'm feeling now. You take care. May He always be with you.

Another failure...

And i thought i have changed, but i never did.

Well, i guess two loggerheads cannot be with each other.

I know you did a lot of sacrifice and i never appreciated it. And i know, the final straw had been undone. I guess you had enough.

I don't want to say to much. I'll take the blame. Its ok to tell the world of my cruelty and wrongdoings. I accept it whole heartedly. I'm not being sarcastic. You might think i'm being an asshole but i'm. Take care.

The very least i'm happy to know you are angry with me not suicidal. Take of yourself when i'm not around.

Lies, deception and manipulation part 2

I didn't know that it will end up like this...

Now, my grandma is like giving me more money monthly to try and convince me to stop fighting for maintanence. Well, even if she gives $10k, i won't stop. Its not about the money. Its personal.

Well, he successfully convinced her that he's innocent and i'm a bad boy. Now, it seems that in everyone eyes including those of my girlfriend, i am an asshole. Ok la, fine. Go ahead la people. Its ok. I'm used to having no friends.

School begins in about 6 hours or so. Let me lead a lonely life. To focus more on school and work.

The responsibilites are now heavier. More people are putting high hopes on me. Sigh. I can't fall now. No one will shoulder my fall. I hope i'll make it. Its gonna be tough. Oh life. Oh God, please help me. Amin.

Man in the mirror

Its no longer like last time. It just feels different. If you read this in time, thats good. If not, its ok. Hopefully, we learn from our mistakes to make this relationship better.

I do not wish to quarrel and spoil our weekend. Its ok. I accept what happened. Everyone makes mistakes.

But you gave me a nonchalant attitude. It seems like you never cared. Sigh maybe you have been like this all this while and i never realised. Maybe the feelings have changed after what i've said and did the last quarrel. Well, i have no one to blame but Wandi Juma'at himself.

I am rather glad that i managed to control my anger and not blow things out of proportion for just a small mistake you did. Its ok.

You take care.

I'm gonna make a change
For once in my life
Its gonna feel real good
Gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right

Man In the Mirror - Micheal Jackson

One mistake too many

And yeah, today i feel so guilty of committing 2 road traffic offences.

Failing to give way to oncoming traffic.
Knocking a car side mirror will weaving in and out.

And if i wanna stay alive, i better stop making mistakes. Sigh... Lately, damn down... Sometimes one mistake can cost your life. Proven before.

And i swear i never see that lorry coming towards me when i was along Tai Seng Avenue today. Gosh, whats wrong... Too tired??? Sigh... No choice.

The Benchmark

First and foremost, i must thank God for giving me a rather enjoyable time at work lately.

But then now, the BENCHMARK.

Today, went out to visit Cikgu(s) house with my primary school mates. One at Lorong Salleh the other at Tampines St. 45.

Here's what the ears heard.

Sufiyan - Finished NS, currently year 2 at NUS
Farah - Year 2 at SIM
Ahmad - Serving NS, private institution Part-time Degree
Azir - Staff Nurse at a local hospital, owns a car.

Wandi - Diploma, CB400, terrible life.

Eerrrmm, it seems that i am like 4 years lagging behind time. Omg, all these people are either somewhere at school or have settled down their life. And here Wandi Juma'at is struggling to make ends meet both at work and school. Oh gosh, this gotta change. I need to do something to make me part of the Degree league. Cars not yet. Hayabusa must.

Omg, thanks to upbringing problems, i am left behind in the race towards success. Omg, I hate this. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT this to be on par with the rest.

Time to work harder WANDI JUMA'AT!!!

Read this before its too late

Maybe to you my actions showed that i never cared. But my intentions were good. I never meant any harm. I did things out of love and concern. Put all those intimate things aside, my words were meant for us, yes us not only you but for me to improve.

Nvm. i know you won't read.

Its ok. like the title say, read it before its too late. I hope you are not too late. This blog shall wait for you.

Don't regret when things happen. It cannot be reversed.

Read this before its too late

I shall not sms you, msn or facebook with you or say anything to you. All correspondance will be via this blog.

If its too late and you never read it to bad.

What i have to say today.

I will prove to you without meeting and all that i still love and care for you. Its ok if you want to say this and that.

Like i said, humans only cry when their loved one is gone. When they are still around, scold them, fuck them and treat them like hell.

Nvm, its ok. I'll accept this and whatever you have said.

Toughest of the toughest

Sometimes its just hard to explain things. Sigh. I hate this. Life oh life. Treat me nicer. I am trying to treat you nicer.

I hate this stage. Going through agony and pain again.

Once again

And once again, challenges after challenges. Hang in there and you'll be alright Wandi.

Its hard to understand if you come from a different world.

The search for a peace

Moving to Kallang 5 years ago means moving closer to success on this earth. The Super Four, 2A, 2B, getting into poly, well achieved COS are evidence to prove my improvements after walking this earth for the past 22 years or so and having a stagnant life back then.

Moving to Bishan 5 years after moving to Kallang means moving closer to God. Hopefully the deeds today can be continued till He brings me back home. And that would be the final move.

Well of course, without a doubt, with the guidance of Mr Juma'at, life will improve. Life will get better and success is definitely at hand. He's a master for nurturing to success on this earth. Look at Waida now. Walking example.

The guidance of Hajjah (my mum) will also bring rewards. Her knowledge of Islam, will bring my heart closer to God. Insyallah.

You see... Wandi is a very greedy man. I want big bikes, big cars, big house, big paycheck, beautiful women. In short, everything that is good, i want. Until recently, i realised that yes, materials and things that revolves the world i want, but at the same time, faith, knowledge and deeds that will bring me closer to God, i also want :)

If i was greedy back then, i am more greedier now.

Thus, with the knowledge and skills imparted to me by His Majesty Juma'at, i will try to use it and guide my path for success. At the same time, i will and everyone knows, i thirst for knowledge and wordly thing, i will try to improve my lifeskills and get them. Lets not forget i will use the skills you impart me to get back what is rightfully mine in court come 7 October 2009, 1400 hrs.

With the knowledge that, i had and will learn from Her Majesty Hajjah Napsiah, i will and of course must try to make myself a good person. Not only being a Muslim. A good Muslim. Not only a son, student, worker, colleague, rider, boyfriend... whatever but a good one. A good human being.

I do not aim to be the richest man in the World or S.E.A neither do i aim to be Priest in the mosque. One day, as a father and husband, head of the family, all i ask for is, life above average. Hayabusa, VFR 800 (a must), Honda Accord (not a must), condo, a father that can bring up his kids well (this is a must after looking at how that idiot treat me), a husband who can provide well for his wife, everlasting marriage irregardless who i marry (also a damn bloody must!!! Not more divorce down my line of family tree) and a son who can take care of his mother (for what she had done to repent her mistakes she had done when i was young). Insyallah. Amin.

As a Muslim, all i ask is for God to give me the strength to uphold the 5 pillars of Islam diligently. To nurture religious discipline in my family. If possible, learn and research a bit more in depth about Islam when i am 55 :). I would be happy to bring my kids and wife, for Aidilfitri/adha prayers every year. In my life, i never and don't think will ever have this situation (my mum, my dad, my sisters) thus, i hope in the future i can have with my family (my wife, my kids, my wife). Insyallah.

Moving out of Kallang was a decision i made. I hope not to regret it. I just feel peace here. I get to talk. I guess talking calms me and gives me a peace of mind. If God wants me to come home, I hope he takes me when i am prepared for it. Now, i think i'm not. However, spiritually, i feel so relaxed. It seems that God have been answering my prayers. Alhamdullilah.

I pray hard for His blessing to answer my prayers and reward me with what i seek both on this world and after world. Insyallah. Amin. Please give me strength and motivation to carry on what i have been doing now even after end of Ramadan. I hope You will give me the strength and motivation to be a good worker, student, boyfriend, family, man and everything till my last breath. Insyallah. Amin.

Not only worldy desires that i seek, desires of the afterworld too that i seek.

To end this, here's a peek at my 'new' room.

See that small picture of 3 boys in uniform, the next post, will be it.

Good night everyone. Thank you for reading.

The Saga Continues

First and foremost, Alhamdullilah...Alhamdullilah.

Some effort and prayers made me cleared my exams this time round. I thank Allah for making me clear this round of exams.

Well, this also shows that time management is super important. Last semester, i failed to managed time resulting in me failing my exams. This time round i've managed to control my time Alhamdullilah once again. He helped me clear.

The downside is that my CGPA is standing at 2.25 which is not good. My results were C+ the highest and D lowest. This is rather disappointing. The target of 2.7 is still far fetched. Sigh. More hardwork need to be done.

Part 2:

The story of the cold war between Father and Son titled "The Juma'at Sr. and Juma'at Jr. in the Cuban Missile Crisis" has just escalated to another level.

The amended title would be "Lies, Deception and Manipulation in a Family".

This old man knowing that he have to pay me maintanence of $572/month after i drag his ass to Family and Juvenile court decided to use an underhand method.

Informing my god-grandma was what he did. Knowing that i have utmost respect for this lady and i would never talk back against her, he decided to lie (well, if maybe fabricate will be a better word) to her and manipulate her feelings making her feel angry and disappointed in me. I feel so bad and sad that my grandma decided to believe him and starting saying i am not a filial son and etc.

Its ok its ok. Ramadan is the month where the Quran is brought down. And this Ramadan, will also be the month where Lies, Deception and Manipulation will be exposed. Insyallah.

Come this Monday, 1400 hrs, outside the Family and Juvenile Courts, i will speak what i have been keeping in me for 22 years. Wandi shalt speak the truth and nothing but the truth. I will tell everyone, my mum, grandma, family and whoever in attendance of what has been going on. You will hear my side of the story.

Good night everyone, have a good rest. Congrats for clearing 2.1 fellow Poly friends.

Once again, thank you Allah and Jessie Teo for staying by my side and giving me the emotional and financial support for all these rubbish and torture i am and had gone through. I am sorry if i was evil.

Prayers keep me emotionally at ease. I am sorry my dear Jessie for behaving like a jackass lately. You know that i love you. You know the tremendous pressure that i am going through. Well, this Monday the pressure and piled up steam in my head will be let go. Hopefully justice will take its course. Congrats for taking your first step to learning Islam. Insyallah, god will bring you to the right path. Good luck for your exams this Saturday.

It does not take your parents blessing to be succesful. It takes hardwork and Insyallah, with Allah permission and kindness thou shall succeed in life. Amin.

Welcome oh Welcome

What a way to kick off the fasting month.

Had sahur (morning breakfast) at Jessie place with me cooking the rice (not up to standard) and Jessie giving her best in the kitchen by frying eggs (power!!!). Buka (break fast) at Grandma place, with my favourite dish (celok!!!).

Yeah, BCM was done with confidence. 4 more to go with NFUND being the utmost priority as i screwed my CA big time. Shit man Wandi. No more repeats.

The cold war here is getting more and more hostile. Wait wait. Now, FOCUS on papers. Once its all over, hehehehe. See you in court my man.

Happy fasting my dear JESSIE TEO and my friends.

Fear baby fear

And i know its not often that i say this but lately i have been having this fear.

Fear of death.

Fear to lose my baby.

Full of fear lately.

And if i have the cash i will buy a car for Jessie. To ferry her around.

Its not that i hate riding or am afraid that i have lousy riding skills. I know i am not that super skilled but at the same time i am no lousy typical Singaporean rider. Scale of 10, i can give myself 7.5. Wait wait wait, that is when i am alert. The fear for riding with Jessie sinks in when i am losing concentration due to fatigue, anger or frustration. Other than that, no issue. Roads will never change, machine will never change, rider attitude will.

Well, it seems i love my Jessie more than my baby 1149 now.

Lately, health have not been good. Chest pains, migraines and what not. Thats where i am scared. Scared that i might be taken away. Well, that was what i always pray when depressed but no no no not now please.

Oh God Almighty, i wish to take back to cruel words i've used against myself, my loved ones (except my dad and his second family), my friends and whoever not. Forgive me my Lord.

Life is too short to die early. I have yet to reach my destination.

Nonetheless, shall i go, i pray that my Lord to look after my dear Jessie and bring her safely to wherever she wants to go; literally and metaphorically.

Good night everyone.


My Dear Jessie, shall i go before you, i pray to the Lord to look after you and bring you to the right path.

They Don't Care About Us

And yeah, as i was about to type this post, Michael's song titled 'They Don't Care About Us" played.

Yeah, they (mum and dad) in my case don't care about us (Waida, Widia, Wandi)<--- the siblings.

So now, i had enough of all these crap.

Anyone who knows a lawyer who deals in family matters or someone who has knowledge or family courts and maintanence, please link them to me. If they are willing to offer their services, oh please beep me or something.

Time to investigate, get facts and procedures then if possible send him to hell.

Nights everyone.

$18000 lesson

Today oh today, had a chat with Ril and Shaun. First, at Bishan then AMK McCafe.

The CB400SF aka FBD 1149D aka my beloved bike (don't get jealous ok my dear jessie) is an $18000 lesson. Well, financially it is mistake but pleasure and power its not. Live life to pay for it. Learn Wandi, learn. Oh ya, Dear remember this, your are my girlfriend/wife/bestie/endless list of adjectives but then my bike is my scandal :)

So now, more questions...

When is all this suffering going to be over?

Will i make it big in 5 - 10 years time?

What does the future hold for me?

And yeah, that old man, thank you for torturing me.

Finally, could be moving to Bedok in the future. Hello East siders, could be joining the East side soon.

Questions???

Today, i ask myself this few questions...

Why am i so vulgar?

Why have i yet to control my anger?

Why am i so reckless on the roads?

When will all these pressure of school, work and life end?

Will i ever make it?

The Urge

Omg, its exactly one month since the last post. Lol. Wandi has been inactive. Super inactive. Busy, playing THE SIMS 2, school and spend time with my dear. And yeah, i haven't work for a month. Worrying trend. Gonna start work soon. Shit man...

And yeah, urge here refers to the urge for biking and not the urge for sex. hahahaha. I got the urge for sex under control but the urge to go to track has yet to be satisfied.

Everytime i take the bend at Tampines Ave 5 entering PIE and the right bend into Bendemeer Road from CTE, the urge to suit up and get into track just get stronger. The only thing that is holding me back is money. I know dear won't be happy to hear this.

Let me explain. On the roads, my crazy riding; weaving in and out, cornering and speeding. All these when you are behind me, you don't think its dangerous. lol. On the track, yes, we are going super fast but we are protected. The suits and etc. So, its safer on track rather than roads. Not forgetting Singapore roads have LOUSY SINGAPOREAN DRIVER. Talking about this, my bike just go knocked few days back at Serangoon Garden Way. Knn ccb blind driver. Luckily that day i good mood. I bad mood KNN CCB all will come out. BASTARD!!!

So dear, tracking is safe. REMPITING on the roads of Singapore is not. lol. Well, after what Shahril told me about lining, body position and throttle control, i just can't wait to try it out on track. I've been practising on the roads of Singapore :) Should stop actually. Roads are not track. And added to that, seeing MotoGP today, makes me wanna get on my baby and go for a ride but then exams tomorrow :(

When will my baby feel track. Roads she have felt enough. Track not yet. Sigh. Gonna sleep now. Nights everyone. Pray that exams will be simple tomorrow.

And remember, four wheels move the body, two wheels move the soul :)
-qouted by a Singapore bike forumer

My baby fitted with the GPR end can. She definitely look and sound nice.

lol... Random pic

Me and mimi (Jessie's dog)...

Alone time

Hehehehe...

Its been sometime since i last blog.

Finally, today i get to blog and most importantly, i get to spend some personal time with my beloved bike at the carpark (washing her). Its been like ages since we had some together time :) Today, no disturbance. Only the two of us. Don't get jealous ok my dear Jessie, i've been spending a lot of time with you also :)

Despite getting a big present from Singapore pools, life is still super stress. I just pray hard that i can survive another 2.5 years. I hope i can make it. Please god, give me some faith and strength to carry on with this. Hopefully, 1149 open this weekend first prize. Then can change pipe again. Oops, must not tell Madam :)

So lately, i've been busy working, hanging out with friends and most of all, spend time with my dear. Spend a lot of time that i have no time to blog and having only 2.5 hours of sleep lately. Well, i guess its worth it. Oh ya, Wandi must learn to control his anger. Sometimes i wonder why i am so hot tempered when with you... Don't get me wrong. I mean well.

So, today i spent like 3 hours at the carpark giving my baby a good wash. Inside out. Every nook and cranny. Chain, engine case, body frame, rims, radiator cover, brake calipers, rear suspensions and whatever you can think of. Washed them clean :)

hehehehe... take a look at this...

My bike but Jessie name is all over.


The accessory that made me $680+$78 poorer. Oh gosh, but then again i just love the roar sound every morning in the carpark.

Who cares about the performance. When 1149 open, we can talk about performance :)

Good night everyone. Sleeping time. Working at 1600 hrs.

Long gone... Pictures time

Finally, some blogging time... Lets welcome myself with pictures...

Work time

When i thought Kallang Pizza hut was happening, look at Punggol preparation

Play time

Amrun bike after Ril sticker job

The boys

The machines

Boys and machine

Girlfriend time

Last few days at Mcs

Waiting for me eh?

She always get the best riding gear

Sembawang Road makan time

Hehehehe... enjoying the biscuit (thanks to jannah)

Always and forever. the minah rempit pose

Vivocity time

Etc Etc time

Caught this baby outside the blue mosque

Omg, the Super Four (CB400) big big brother, CB1300

Whats going on Wandi?

First foremost, Wandi had been busy PSPing, working and being a suami mithali :)

Well, the more i look at my bike, the more i love it.

The same applies for Jessie, whenever i scold you or tell you off means i love you :) hehehehe. Like old people say ah, i beat you because i love you. Kekekeke. Thank you for all the sacrifices you've made thus far but that does not mean can anyhow spend money hor... Times are bad now :( Sianzzz.

And yeah, lately people have been in thanks giving mood.

Jessie gave me a raincoat that cost at least 2/5 of my monthly pay (the newer 09 models cost $350. Refer to this link if you think i am bullshitting. Thank you hor dear, when you wanna buy the Yoshi full system? lol.

http://www.singaporebikes.com/forums/showthread.php?t=226376

Widia (my 2nd sister) finally came to her sense that Wandi will be on a bike longer than her so she decided to donate her ARAI SZF helmet to me which is always on Jessie head 99% of the time. I always wanted to own this helmet but then my gf safety is utmost priority. Moreover, she gave me her RS Taichi and its only right for me to return the favour. Well, this helmet cost about $300. Think i talk cock again? See below. Mind you prices are in €. Well, of course time passed so the value of helmets also depreciate.

And yeah, some riders rumour that there are cases where riders stayed alive in an accident because they put on the Arai helmets. Not so sure of the credibility of this but for the sake of safety, Jessie will wear it. Wandi die ok. Jessie die not ok!!!

http://www.cusworths.co.uk/content/pages/shop/manufacturers/Helmets/Open%20Faced/Unisex/Arai-SZF/1.htm

And yeah, next sem, i guess i will be parting ways with my beloved 01 mates. Oh gosh, i will miss your company. But nonetheless, maybe this a fucking wake up call to me. Don't fucking blow up the second chance at education. Enough of playing and working. Time to pull up the grades. Hopefully i can. Typing is easier than doing.

I guess thats about all for now. PSP is calling. Time to go. Nights everyone. Thank you for reading.

I am back...

Its been sometime since the last post. Well, lets kick off my multiple postings with some pictures.

What have i been doing all this while? Pictures will tell

As always, supporting the Malaysian petroleum industry. Btw, on a friends Yamaha YZF-R1

Thank you very much my dear for the RS Taichi jacket... Only riders will know the value of such high end riding goods.

Lately, i've always been with her. Its time to buy season parking at Choa Chu Kang.

Aku jadi pillow eh?

Her hand... Like a drawing block. lol.

As always, JB

So this is what Jessie have been up to lately

Women = shopping, mahjong and all money decreasing activities

Muka maintain ok

Personal assistant to Wandi. Thank you for pumping the petrol.

Last few days at McDs.

Jessie is well known for this step cute post

And i know that the Arai helmet makes you look very chubby. Haha.

She gave me the RS Taichi jacket and i gave her the ARAI Szf helmet.

Another one of her step cute pics... @ Punggol Plaza Pizza Hut

Finally finally, the machine (my 2nd gf) that had and will be carrying us around, from Sg to Jb and go knows where.

Now, she got a name. Xin (last character of Jessie hanyu pinyin name)

And i like it when Jessie takes ownership of my bike.

Dear when is the Yoshi pipe coming??? :)

Turbulent times

Its been sometime since the last post. And i was occupied with Jessie PSP, outings and of course work.

It seems like things are getting from bad to worse.

I have 2 supp papers, so much debts and on top of that, i dunno where my relationship is going.

Maybe there should not be a second chance for me when in comes to school and relationship.

I am just screwing everything up. This is sad.

Another shot?

Wandi will never learn i guess.

Given another shot at education and here i am screwing it up. First, it was the Super Four craze. Now, its a new found love. Need to set priorities right. Or should i say need to manage time more efficiently.

So, today i screwed up Air Con and Emaths2. 2 ways to solve this. Supplementary papers or retake module. Not ruling out the option of retaking the module to get a better CGPA. Supp papers will mean goodbye to overseas study dream. Retaking will mean extended poly life. Need to make a decision and fast. Make a decision that i won't regret and most importanly make sure of improvements after decision is made. But then again, Wandi tend to contradict at times.

Given another chance to be in love and here i am starting the old attitude problem. Fatigue and mood swings just go hand in hand. When i am tired, i will be in rash act mode. Do stupid things and etc. I am sorry.

And when i said that there's no point of meeting or talking when one party is tired as it might cause the tired person to behave in a manner jeopardising the friendship/relationship, here i am going against my word. I am sorry ok. I know i am behaving like an asshole. I'll try my best not to repeat this.

I think that i should rest when its time to rest rather than stressing my body out then start behaving like an asshole. As i've said, i am aware of my actions but sometimes i just can't control my actions. I am sorry. I know you are trying super hard to make this work. I am too. I will give you time and hope that you will give me time too.

I am sorry for what happened.

Good night, have a good rest.

The transitions

Currently, there are 2 transitions going on.

Transition 1 - Single life to boifie life (Jessie version of boyfriend. lol.)
Transition 2 - Kallang Pizza Hut to Pizza De France to Punggol Pizza Hut

Life have been great being with her despite some minor hiccups. Well, Melayu people say that its inevitable that you'll bite your tongue accidentally at times. Misunderstandings are just part of relationship. But luckily, Wandi managed to control his anger and not vent out on Jessie. I vent out on my baby 1149. Here's an excerpt from her blog.

"told u not to speed.u said "ok"end up,leavin my block carpark w high speed.on the road, zebra crossing u stil speed ahead"

Public Apology: Sorry ah dear, i was just feeling dissapointed that V day have to end up in such a manner. I don't want to vent out frustrations on you thats why i vent it out on my second wife :)

I know i haven't said this to you but i can see that you are trying hard to improve. And you've changed a lot. From smses to phone calls and etc. I've noticed changes though i do not say it. I just hope that you'll continue improving and i'll do my best to make this a more enjoyable and meaningful relationship. I feel grateful that you are doing something to make this relationship a more enjoyable one. Thank you.

But there are times when i just start thinking nonsense. I've told you this before. Its just some physcological effect i guess. Or maybe its just some internal thingy. I've never doubted you and i won't :) I try my best not to think nonsense ok :)

Transition 2
Week 3 since i started working at Punggol Plaza (PGP). Riders and management at PGP are ok as of now. Orders, wah power. Work five hours can cover 17 order. Wandi on the bloody wave like gila zip zapping down the streets of Punggol and Sengkang. Oh ya, corner at Rivervale Street and Rivervale Walk power!!! Like MotoGP... haha.

The other day one Kallang Bahru manager just popped by and started Lan Jiao Weing about Wandi. I realised that people enjoyed LJWing about Wandi. Ok la as long as you happy la. Thank god, Awal (PGP Restaurant Manager) decided not to swallow his words. He made the right choice of listening, observing, judging and not just listen to others blindly.

Talking about Awal, personally, i like him. As in the way he manages people and the store. Awal told me that he's not educated and etc thats why he have to work hard in Pizza just to earn a living. I can see that from the way he speaks English. But then, i am not looking down on him or anything. Personally, i feel that education may have stopped him from progressing into other industries but education certainly didn't stop him from turning PGP into a wonderful place to work in. I can see that Awal is a man with mission and vision unlike the old place where i used to work at. I assume the management there have an ulterior motive. From my POV, i think Awal are doing things that will not only benefit him but also benefit us. In Leadership, i call his sytle of management, the Hershey and Blanchard situational theory approach. Well, i've yet to see the evil side of him. I believe everyone have their evil side and its just a matter of how i handle it. I will try my best to handle nonsense. Idiots are everywhere. Thats inevitable. Hopefully, PGP does not have an idiots. For now, two thumbs up for Awal and PGP. Hopefully, things remains status quo.

I am just sick and tired of working part-time. I was telling Jessie how i wish i can spend the evenings with her or just have some personal time instead of being on a bike every evening sending orders. Life sucks that way. There's no meaning to life. I envy those who have full-time and part-time job. They can tahan such crap for years. Well, i guess thats the price you have to pay if you want to ride a Super Four.

So Wandi is giving himself till 2012/3 to stop this abnormal life. Once i get my dip and hopefully a deg, i'll find a full-time 8 to 5 job that pays me enough so that i can spend time with Jessie, myself, friends and maybe if things go well, my family (as in wife and kids and not mum and dad). I don't want to spend my evenings working no more in the future. Just want to lead a normal life and not working like a monyet batteri.

For now, endure, endure and endure. Life is tough but someone just came into my life and gave me the motivation to carry on with life. Juggling studies and work is super tough. But must stick to the army motto "Tough times don't last, tough men do".

Oh ya, i was running through youtube and saw this montage to a fallen rider. Just felt that the song was damn touching. Here it is, Bila Aku Sudah Tiada by Hujan. Sorry to non-Melayu readers.

Bila Aku Sudah Tiada - Hujan



I don't know you personally but being a rider, watching this vid just makes me feel how his loved ones felt when they lose him. RIP my dear rider.

Nights everyone. Thank you for reading.

Rolling Good times at Haji Lane

Sheesha at Haji Lane





Visit to Seletar Tower

Please thank the Super Four Headlight for all your lighting and most importantly, the guys behind the camera.

Quddus aka Duz Black

Ril aka Racer Maut

Tougher than i thought

I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. I guess its my fault.

I hope you understand this scenario. We meet only 2 or three times a week, sometimes only once. All i am asking for us to enjoy every single second of each others company. Its been tough since day 1. I know. I really appreciate the fact that you have been enduring this.

And there are times when you and i have no idea where to go. I guess all we could do is get a place to sit and talk or something. Time is really precious when i'm with you. Thats also the reason why i tend not to entertain phone calls, smses or anything else for that matter when i'm with you.

Like i've said, its not materials or any form of cash gifts i am asking from you. I just want someone who loves me sincerely. I know i've been saying to my friends about how i always wanted a girl with cash and etc. But thats not true. If you know me just by the surface, the statements of women & money may seem true to you but if you know Wandi for who Wandi is, then you'll know what i seek for in a women.

And please call me if you are not feeling well or whatsoever at night or any time of the day. Don't keep it to yourself. I just feel so bad for what happened yesterday. Its like i am neglecting my duties as a boyfriend. I am sorry.

I know i was reckless on the roads yesterday. The reason why i did that was because i don't want to vent my disappointment at you. I was never angry with you. There are times when i just feel hopeless and useless. I hope you understand me. I really don't want to raise my voice, hand or whatsoever at you. I know i am capable of doing that but everytime i feel like doing it, i just tell myself that i've changed and i won't do what i used to do again.

Pass BTT eh :)

Exactly 8 more days to papers. Please oh please put in a lot of effort Wandi. I don't want supp papers or round 2 of the same modules.

DFUND Lab test in a few hours time, CADS quiz friday. Gosh. Life oh life.

To Jessie, congrats on passing BTT. Drive car already dun forget Super Four ok :) Oh ya, next time avoid posting personal info like add and IC no. online. Like i said, later tio harass need ex-policeman like me to rescue you :)

Give you a kiss ok for passing BTT :)

And dear, put colour aside, we still have a lot of differences. We could either put our differences aside, improve on it or maybe just live with it. I doubt there are couples born to perfection. Know that Wandi is not perfect but he is real. If there's anything you are not comfortable with, voice out, i'll try to improve. Everyone will have differences. Its just a matter of how we handle them :) If we can make our differences into similarities, it would be a bonus. Rest assured. I will give my best.

I know your time is as tight as mine. School, work and etc.... Well, i hope that we can work something out. I will try to align my schedule to yours if i need be. Don't worry ok, Super Four don't mind going BB and CCK even if rider asleep while on the way there provided petrol sponsored by you :) hahaha.

Good night everyone.

Good night dear. I know you are sleeping like a baby after all the work.

Thank you for reading :)

Sweet Tapioca Porridge

And so, that was the show i watched on TV few moments ago. Its been like sometime since i last was a drama serial.

Anyway, yeah since today morning i've been disturbed. Woke up this morning to know that my sister slashed her wrist so badly that she had to be admitted to TTSH and later referred to IMH. She's not crazy. Just super depressed. Oh gosh, it seems that i'm not the only one with suicidal tendencies.

So now, i have to be a good brother and take care of her. Ensure that she is safe and she don't do stupid stuffs. I'm like smsing her "You take care of yourself. Don't do stupid things". I feel so awkward. Firstly, my siblings are I are not close. Secondly, mind you its not my younger sister. She's like 8 years older than me. It feels so weird advicing someone older than you. The thought of my sister gone justs made me wanna cry. Its ok if Wandi go but not someone related to me. Thats is despite we are not that close.

Well, what she needs is constant supervision and someone to talk to. Just like me, when she's left alone, she will do stupid stuffs. I guess thats one of the traits we have in common. Leave us alone, we go bizarre.

But when its Wandi, such things will not happen. If i were to do it, i'll make sure all you see is my corpse. Not a badly injured Wandi. Just too much of attention. I remembered the last time my suicide attempt was unfold by my mum. She was like giving so much attention. Aargh, thats not the way for me.

As i said earlier, was watching Sweet Tapioca Porridge. So touching sia the show. But sad to say, such romantic love stories don't happen in real life.

Its time to call it a day. Super tired. Nights everyone. Thank you for reading.


On paper, we are together.
But are we together in our hearts?
Its yes for me, i hope its yes for you.
I'm not doubting you.
I just hope things will get better as time goes on.
I've seeked advice from the 'Don'.
I'll prove to you i'll be the man you can and will love more than anyone else.

The Dawn of a new Hitler Era

Its been like a week since the last post.

Well, this post has no political content or what.

The title of this post is to tease Jessie. hehehe...

Lets make it short and simple as i've got to do some Maths in a while.

Last week, life was kinda hell. The Customs crap, money was being to super tight, then some emotional roller coaster.

But this week, life got a bit better.

Collected my pay, settled the Customs crap, got a new job (yeah, i'm back with Pizza Hut but now at Punggol) and the MOST IMPORTANT THING, as per the title, Hitler is coming back. Hehehe...

Will blog again soon, need some study and a lot of sleep. Haven't had proper sleep lately.

Nights everyone. Thank you for reading.


PS: Jessie, i am just joking only ok... In this event, thou shall not take my words seriously.:)

Pics and pics

Some pics that should have been posted long time ago.

Boys misbehaving in school:

Deciding on the style

'Live' telecast of their chosen style

Earlier that day (Foreground, Younger twin, background, older twin)

Hehehehe... Last thursday outing with Ah Lian (Jessie)

The irony. Mat and Ah Lian... lol.

Mat, handsome, Lian step cute :).

Lian wearing shades to hide the cute eyes. lol.

Hungry eh?

3 Musketeers late night outing

Marina Barrage

Farrer Road McDonalds/Telok Blangah Green Bridge

**PS: Captions are for entertainment purposes and not meant to discriminate, defame or derogate any party. Sorry if the captions have offended you. Dui Bu Qi, especially Jessie, everytime disturb you only :)

Shahril, thanks for the artistic shots. No doubt, first class photography skills . Ok, cannot praise too much. lol.

Finally, the post will end with a 2 kerat pantun for the riders out there.

Jiwa racer biarlah sampai ke mati,

Tapi bila di jalan raya please berhati-hati :)

Good night everyone. Thank you for reading.

Lunar New Year

What a way to welcome the Lunar New Year.

Major Occurences

- Colleague met with an accident sending his 1st order in the morning of the Lunar New Year (now warded at TTSH. Hope you get well soon bro)

- Near miss with a car and bus along Buangkok Green (either i'm blind, cause i was not wearing my glasses or the car is stupid)

- Showed the international hand sign to 2 blind drivers for cutting my lane (ok, time to stop this)

- Customer at Lengkong Satu greeted me with a $5 'hongbao' on my first order (keep it coming)

- Reservist recall order again (not again...)

- Worked 13 hours today. Same tomorrow.

- Decided to try my luck on the $10m toto Hongbao draw (no luck again. Sianzzz)

Observations and comments

- Met this little boy while sending an order. He was alone. So poor thing. First day of the new year and he's like so lost. Was helpful enough to give me directions. Thanks little boy.

- Looks does not matter when it comes to kindness. Sent an order at Compassvale Dr and was greeted by this rather big-size lady. Despite her unappealing looks, she had the heart of an angel. Greeted and made me felt warm eventhough it was less than a 5 minutes visit. Ended my day smiling. 2 thumbs up for her. Great way to end the day.

In Short...

The accident today was a vital reminder that i should always be attentive on the roads (this reminder is always forgotten when i hit the roads). Ride fast but ride safely. Despite the society perception that riding is dangerous, WANDI still INSIST that its about the man not machine. Judgement, Skill, Knowledge and not LUCK are the things that keep me alive on the roads. Same principle applies to all riders. Ride safely my fellow riders.

Its sad to see little kids wondering around on a this so joyous occasion. Reminds me of the days when i was young.

Nothing beats kindness. Not even great looks. Its a waste that majority of women nowadays have great look but poor etiquette and courtesy. Same applies for man. Great looks and an even greater desire for lust. Hopefully, Wandi will be a man of good faith. Well, time will tell. At this point, time just told that Wandi has finally learnt the ropes of patience :) Hopefully, i can be super patient.

Thats all for today. Good night everyone. Thank you for reading.



Be GENTLE on the straights. Be a MAN at the corners :)

Life oh life

And when i thought life was getting better, i got a present from Singapore Customs. A present that made me $500 poorer. Oh gosh.

Jessie was kind enough to offer some help but then i declined. I got myself into this trouble, i must get myself out of it without any third party assistance. I won't ask anyone help. Its not that i am being stuck up but its unfair to others to clean up the mess that i've made. I'm ready to 'stay in'.

I'm making decisions that i might regret in the future. Aargh, when is life going to get better?

Neways, found a few so called new songs to listen. 2 of those songs really means a lot. Sandiwara Cinta Semusim (errrm how do i translate this?? Sandiwara- Stageplay, Cinta- Love, Semusim- Season) and Hanya Satu Persinggahan (only a stopover). Instruments not that wonderful but then the lyrics, gosh so touching.

Shahril just informed me that his mum was reading my blog. So now, gotta watch the words and what i say. Apparently, she got to know of Shahril racer reputation from my blog. Hehehehe... Sorry eh bro. Oh ya SHAHRIL listen to the songs bro. Its so feeling. lol.

HANYA SATU PERSINGGAHAN - RAHMAT

SANDIWARA CINTA SEMUSIM - IKLIM

Good night everyone. Thank you for the reading.

The Perfect Boyfriend

I feel the urge once again to talk about something random.

Today, was at work when one of my colleagues brought a girl he knew through a chain of friends. He, of course was being extremely nice to her. Also, overheard him saying to another colleague that in a few days time he can 'poke' the girl already. hahaha... Wandi, for once not being Wandi just sit down, shut his mouth, opened my ears and eyes. Oh ya, Wandi tried to avoid conversation with that girl. Don't want to be mistaken. Enough of lies from those who have already hated me.

That scenario inspired this post.

Through observations of others and myself, i realised that, tendency of men/boys being gentlemen and everything nice are very high during courtship or what i call 'honeymoon' period. Well, that does not exclude me also. I realise that i tend to be super nice when i just get to know someone of the opposite sex especially if i am interested in her. Wandi, being man cannot escape the faults of life. Sianzzz. And so, this situation is what i call "The Perfect Boyfriend".

Maybe, this is one of the factors that lead to a high divorce rate in the Melayu society. Before marriage, man is a wonderful person and the women behaves like an angel. Everything you do is right. Everthing i do is right. After marriage, reality strikes, man becomes a beast women becomes a slut. Nothing you do is right and nothing i do is right.

So, I realised that i shouldn't be pretending to be nice (this statement just doesn't advertise me well). But then, i think instead of being PERFECT, i should be REAL. I also realised this. Pretending to be good, for eg; being a taxi driver, act like someone who comes from a rich family, romantic, gentlemen and etc is just one of the many bait that are being used today to lure women and vice versa but the question is, HOW LONG CAN YOU PRETEND? 1 day? 1 year? 10 years? 100 years? There is bound to be a time when you can't pretend anymore and thats where hell break loose. Or what i call "State of Emergency".

Thus, being real is the objective in my next relationship (and that is if i have one). I know that reality is a bitter medicine to swallow. Harsh words are something that we don't like to hear. But then, we have to face reality. We can't escape reality. Its just a matter of time. Stealing a bell with one's ears covered is just not the way to live life in a relationship.

Instead of being Mr. Perfect, Wandi is going to be Mr. Real. I will not pretend to be nice. I will not pretend that everything is ok. If i don't like, i'll spit it out. From there, we work towards a solution. If we can't work a solution, then its time to go our own ways... Ok, thats not good but then i personally feel that if there's a problem die die must have a solution. Its a matter of whether you want to solve it or not. Well, i think speaking your mind is better than painting your partner a beautiful picture where everything is nice and when you are at the edge, you blow up. Its better to solve problems when they are small. If the roots are not removed during weeding, the weeds will grow again when the winds of Spring blows.

My personal view, accept me for who i am, where i come from, what i've done and what i have. In return, i'll try to be a man of good faith. And of course, i will be honest in all my dealings with you but if you want something better, skip me. Notwithstanding the above statement, that does not mean that i will be a cruel guy. That also does not mean that i will not change. If its for my own good, i will change but of course everything takes time, Rome was not built in one day. But but but, never tell Wandi to stop riding for the sake of safety. I will start an endless debate and make sure i'll have the final say. Simply because when on the roads, its about the man not the machine. If you wish to know the mind of a man, listen to his words. So, to understand Wandi, you'll have to listen to his words. I talk a lot and there are times when i bore listeners. I speak nothing but fact. When i talk law, its not just numbers that i pluck from the sky. Its from a site called agc.gov.sg. When i talk road, i've been through it. Its not a fiction of my imagination. If i don't know, i will say i don't know. I am not God. I don't know everything. **This para. is not an advertising tool. Its a fact.

Fact: Wandi threw a spanner (or screwdriver) at his ex-girlfriend, Sri.
Fiction: Wandi hit Sri with a helmet.

As i've said, no man is perfect. Its better to know the other party imperfections now rather than its too late. If you have to end something now, end it. The other party might get hurt but if you end it when its too late or when you are married, you'll not only hurt the other party, think about the kids and other complications. I come from a broken home so i know how it feels like to be separated from one parent. My sisters and i are part of a complication due to a failed marriage. It sucks but thats reality of life and i've learnt to accept it.

Henceforth, when dealing with women, Wandi will try and must try to be REAL instead of PERFECT. Accept him for who he is :)

For now, good night. Thank you for reading.

Life on the overtaking lane of Bundesautobahn

Well as the title denotes, life is moving too fast. Too fast that i can't cope at times. I feel as if i am losing control of my machine (my life in this instance).

2 more days - leadership presentation
4 more weeks - major exams

So many things to do yet so little time. Or am i just managing my time poorly. Oh gosh, can i slow down a bit? Perhaps to 50 km/h.

I feel so damn tight. I've yet to prepare for exams. I've yet to prepare for presentation. I am dead. I know exams are like in 4 weeks and some might think that its still far away but its not. Now, the immediate task, presentation. Gosh. I hate this crap.

Neway, today was like a day full of crapping. Morning did CADS then started crapping. Crapping was to the max esp. in FACOM lab. Thanks to Beel, Min and Zack for entertaining me. Need that badly.

Pictures time.

Fooling around with Hui Ping in PSPS


Autocad. That 3D thingy is so cool.

Smoking time boys!!!

Until now, life still suck. Put aside matters of the heart. Matters of the pocket is still troubling me to.

And yeah Ril, i will listen to what you've said. Let people do what they want to us. We just do our best. And now, i must bow down and listen to your advice despite you being younger.

And i've qoute your chat and will bear in mind what you've said.

5hahril- When consciousness returned. Everything had been washed away by the tide of time, even you. says (2:00 AM):
jage diri baik2 bro

5hahril- When consciousness returned. Everything had been washed away by the tide of time, even you. says (2:00 AM):
jng buat yg bukan2

5hahril- When consciousness returned. Everything had been washed away by the tide of time, even you. says (2:01 AM):
DIE FIGHTING DON'T DIE AS A COWARD!!

5hahril- When consciousness returned. Everything had been washed away by the tide of time, even you. says (2:01 AM):
ingat

Wankidal - says (2:01 AM):
lol

5hahril- When consciousness returned. Everything had been washed away by the tide of time, even you. says (2:01 AM):
GOAL KITE BROTHERS - THAILAND!

Ok bro, hopefully one day the tires of our class 2 bikes will touch Thailand. And thats what we call BAND OF THE BROTHERS!!!

ANYWAY SHAHRIL, DON'T FORGET WHAT I'VE SAID IN MSN. SAVE THE CHAT LOG.

My brain tell me to let go of you cause i can't take the torture anymore but my heart tells me not to let you go cause i still have feelings for you. I know you will say this "Think what you want". When it comes to matters of the heart, i will listen to my heart and not my brain. Lets try this again. I hope things will improve. Good night everyone.

Delirium

I don't want to regret the actions that i take today. At the same time, i don't want to feel as if i am not maximing whatever i have.

I confused. My mind is in a state of delirium. There are times when i feel so depressed. There are times when i feel so angry. But i've yet to feel maximum happiness.

Just came back from JB. I could have asked Ril, Ah Xiang, Zul, Hadi, Zaki or the Stallion Boys to come along but i choosed to went alone. I was like stoning and listening to music peacefully while on the way to JB. I didn't even have the mood to go fast or jump at corners. I was trying to rest my mind in peace. But i couldn't.

At times, I think i just need some time alone to unwind and let go of the stress and thoughts of suicide that have been incarcerated in my brain for a long time. There are times, i wished i could spend time with you sitting down somewhere to have a good chat. Its gonna be a week soon.

But i can't achieve any of these.

I tried to rest my mind and just have ten minutes or so not thinking about money, women, bikes or school or even you. Just ten minutes to leave my mind blank. I couldn't achieve it. I guess i should consider yoga soon.

Seriously, life is kinda cock-up now. I want to do things but the same time i am afraid my actions might offend others and most importantly i'm afraid i might regret my actions. Had i face such a situation 7 years back, i would just blow up and start slitting my wrist with a cutting blade. I don't know where we are heading to. Usually, i don't believe in fate or luck but today, when it comes to this matter, i think i will leave it to fate. I just hope that lady luck will strike soon.

I'm confused, tired and stressed. I need some form of encouragement which no one else but you can give. I'm like missing you dearly but there's nothing i can do. I think i still have to wait. Patience is virtue i guess.

There are times when i just hate life. Gosh, this life is full of suffering.

Maybe lately readers have been finding it hard to understand what i am trying to say. Nonetheless, to those who have been reading despite not understanding, thank you. For now, good night.

Love is a lie

There are times when i feel that love is a big fucking lie.

I tried doing everything and anything i could to ensure that things go well but many a times my effort went down the drain. When i try to commit, put in effort, the other party start to take things lightly and take things for granted.

When i become an asshole, the other party get hurt. I'm lost in a love maze. Well, could it be retribution. I think so. There are times i wished that i was born a playboy. Fuck a girl, leave her and next please. If only i could, life would have been much simpler.

I don't want to be an asshole. I don't want Wandi to go back to his old traits. This is a new year, the bad should change for the good. The year is only 15 days old and life is already so sucky. What a way to welcome the new year.

I understand that everyone have their responsibilities and things to attend to. I also understand that there out people out there that does not express their feelings on the phone or smses. I also understand that there are people who are super tight and have very little time for others.

I did what i could to squeeze every second of time i have to do everything i could. I tried to understand every single difficulty you are facing but when things happen and i bring it up, you will start saying things like "Ok la, its my fault", "You should try to understand", "If you want, you can go". Even if can't meet you, the least i am asking for is you to call and ask how i am doing. Hearing your voice would cure the yearn to meet you for a while. I am getting none of it.

I am not trying to say that i am angel and you are a devil. I did what i could. Maybe its not good enough. Maybe to me my efforts are 100% but to you its only 10%. Maybe i've done something wrong. Well, i think i'm not doing enough or perhaps Wandi is not good enough. If i am not good enough, i am sorry.

Lately, i've been trying very hard not to blow things up. I tried my very best to control my temper. I tried not to throw tantrums. But there is so much a man can take. If i don't blow up, i'll just go crazy. I don't want to be my old self and i need you to show me some form of encouragement or support to this already sad life of mine.

I don't like to say this but there are times when i feel as if you take me too lightly or in simpler terms you just don't care. But maybe i am asking this and that. Maybe i am asking for too much. Maybe i am misinterpreting things. I don't know.

I don't know what i should do or what can i do. I just feel so sucky and this feeling will never go. Life is so full of suffering.

I don't know where this friendship is heading to. As long as i can wait, i'll wait. Like i've said in my previous post, i'm not going to talk about death to anyone or blog it down. If i want to do it, i'll do it. Talking about it just attract too much attention which i don't like. For now, I just want some support and concern from you. If what i am asking is too much, its ok. You are not obliged to do it. I am not hoping for it though having it would lessen the emotional burden i am going through.

3 musketeers

All this talk about suicide if its not going too happen its rather attention seeking. And its not good. Well, i've promise to be a man of my words. So if i say i'll do it and i don't its like contradicting myself. For now, life still sucks but trying to remove thoughts of suicide.

The 3 musketeers as usual met at AMK McCafe.

Seems like everyone have problems in their life. Big or small we have to go through it and its about how you handle it.

Eldest musketeer advice, change the course of you life. Eldest musketeer knows that Wandi don't believe in fate. If i want it, i will do something to get it. Just like the Super Four. Work like monkey just to pay Super Four. So now, must try to pick up myself and change the course of my life.

Youngest musketeer advice, don't suicide. We are not ready for it (the after world). Yeah, i guess so. Not forgetting the after world or things like that if it does really exist. Nonetheless, i guess its time to seek some peaceful time maybe at some religious institution or something.

Don't worry, even if i go, i'll make sure i pass down my baby Super Four.Hahaha. For now, pick up myself, find a new and stable part-time work, revise some school work, show some love to people who i love and life will get better.

Nights everyone.

Suicide is Painless?

That song by Manic Street Preachers is a fake. I was browsing through the net to find ways but then its too painful to end life. There are no shortcuts to death. Life is painful so is death.

Lately, i've been super super depressed. Imagine this, open book test but i can't do a single shit. How pathetic can i get? On top of that, lets not forget the stupid financial turmoil i'm going through and will continue to go through for maybe the next 2 years or so. Oh god, life is so sucky now. Can't i just enjoy life for once. This year will make 22 years of suffering. But then again, its good to know that i am good pretender.

To my friends out there, if i ever go, don't be sad. Life is already so sad don't make it worse. I've said this before and i will say this again. If you have treasured me when i was alive, there's no reason for you to be sad when i am gone. Nonetheless, i'll give it a last try. One last try to improve life. Suicide by jumping i guess is a no no. Don't want to trouble my fellow policeman friends on duty. For god knows, it might be Shaun picking up my remains.

I've read your blog. I feel so touched by your words. Just like you, i am ready. But at this point, i don't know how to carry on with life. So many things coming at one go.

PS: I've remove the tagboard. For now, i'm not ready for comments. I'll place it back when i'm ok. Just hope for the taggy to come back cause if it don't...

Nights everyone. Good night Jessie. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding.

Wandi...

I think Mdm Sue made me realise something. I am a full time student but i work more than i study. 29 academic hours and 42 Pizza Boy hours.

Next target she said, i will have to cut down work hours to 30 hours per week. That will mean that i will only bring back about $504. Wah lao, where got enough??? So i decided to moderate the hours and plan to adjust to 35 hours per week. That will mean $588 per month. Sounds better. Talking about work, i need to find a new job soon.

Talk about school, oh gosh, major exams are like in 3 weeks time.

My life is in a mess. From work to school and to friendship. All are in mess. This is not taking into consideration of my bills. Hp bills, cc bills, installments, daily expenditure. Aaargh, if not for my baby Revo, i would have given up. Thats the only thing that makes me go on now. I feel so hopeless. I am hoping for some miracle to occur.

Now, my leg hurts, head hurts, eyes hurts and heart hurts. Everything is hurting. Last night 2.5 hours of sleep. And PSPS time plan said that i have 52.5 hours of sleep weekly. I think thats like 'on paper'. Off paper, i have only like 38 - 45 hours of sleep. Sigh. Wandi Wandi what is becoming to your life. Its ok, i am still young. I can still push my body to the max. Need to start resting my body at 27. So i got 5 more years to torture my body with maximum work, minimum sleep.

It seems that sms are left unreplied at times, calls are answered unwillingly and feelings are left unaccepted. Well thats life i guess. Patience is virtue. I can't believe that i am being so patient. Wandi has turned soft. Thats good i guess.

If there's one thing i wish for, i wish for money money and more money so that i don't have to think about other stuffs like women, study and etc. Life still suck. Its not giving a good oscilloscope reading as of now.

A speech may either prosper or ruin a nation.

I think my words have ruined a lot of things and relationship with people. Wandi oh Wandi. Whats going on?

Nights everyone. Thank you for reading.

Washing time... :)

Its been like ages since i washed my bike. Ok Wandi is exaggerating. It was just 2 weeks ago. Well, i promised to wash my bike every week but since i got too many things at one go, i try and i said i try to do it 2 weeks once. But then sometimes its like 3 weeks once. So using the term ages ago is not wrong. Haha. At last, some personal time with my bike. And of course, Ril the racer washed his bike too. We were at Bishan MSCP until like 0400 hrs. We started at 0000 hrs.

Found a new so called hobby. Cleaning up the drive chain. Will try to do it once a month. And yeah, thinner work wonders on dirt and grime. Take a look at the pics below. I know, people will say Wandi is crazy to clean the drive shaft but then its love for my machine :) Take care of your machine and the machine will take care of you on the roads.

To bike lovers out there, any solvent can be used to clean the chain. Don't forget to lube the chain after cleaning as the chain will get 'dry'. Be warned that its gonna be a dirty job though.

My drive shaft pics.

The artistic angles are thanks to Shahril

Super clean chain and sprockets. Rest assured that you won't get your hands dirty if you touch it. Maybe only sticky due to layer of lube(thats immediately after the wash).

Rils ride drive shaft.

Look at the before (bottom part) and after (top part). Fyi, my baby bumble bee was using RK X ring GOLD chain. Now, it doesn't have the GOLD look anymore.

Nights everyone. Thanks for reading.

And yeah, Wandi miss going to CCK North 6. Sianzzz. I want to but because of our busy schedule i can't do so. I'm sorry. I miss CCK North 6 carpark and the girl that lives there. Maybe Wandi should consider downgrading to a wave so that i can spend more time with you. I know you are asleep. Enjoy your course. Good night.

Exaggerating kills

First things first. Got my phone back from Sony Ericsson service centre. Thank god the queue was not like last time. Used to wait for like 1 hour plus just to send the phone. Now, it only takes like 20 minutes or even lesser. New earpiece, new USB cable and new motherboard. Wohoo, my phone is like new. Hahahaha.



***********************************************************************************

Last week, i was informed by informer A that Sri (my ex) was bad mouthing me to her ESC cliques which includes Kira, Ira and co (their names just rhyme). lol. Well she could have bad mouthed about me to more people which i don't know and i don't care. Maybe thats why Kira is like giving me the transparent act. She used to acknowledge my presence. Well, i don't care. Don't need her to acknowledge me. Even if the whole Temasek Poly ignores me, i'm fine with it. My life will be hard. I will be lonely but i won't die. Worst case scenario, i can just quit school and go to another poly. There are 4 other poly to choose from. The main reason why i am at Temasek Poly is because i want my diploma and nothing else. To those who have been accompanying my journey to the diploma, Wandi is so grateful. Thank you very much. God shall bless you.


Sri Side of the Story:


According to informer A, Kira said that Sri told her(Kira) that Wandi hit her with a helmet and that was the cause of the break up.
___________________________________________________________________


Wandi side of the story:


Wandi did not hit her with a helmet. Yes, i admit i was cruel. I threw my bloody license plate which had her name engraved on it at her and a size 8 spanner. The license plate flew aimlessly and the spanner hit the license plate (she was holding on to the license plate at the stomach area). Technically, nothing hit her.


The cause of the break up was some complicated story which if i were to say it here, people will say that Wandi is LAN JIAO WEING about Sri. So i shall keep it to myself.


Band of the brothers know why we broke up. Just like them, i thought this crap is over. I thought i had ended the relationship on a good note. I hate making enemies and don't want to but circumstances left me with no choice but to add another being on my enemies list.


Hehehe.... The number plate that is attached on my bike below was the one that flew at her. Thank god the bike was heavy. Had it been light, i would have thrown the bike at her.

__________________________________________________________________

So, Amrun was like asking me to confront Sri and get the facts right. I was like errrmmm, good idea. Then again, i can't be bothered. I know what i did and did not do. My conscience is clear. There's no need to worry about this stupid girl. Not worth my time and stress. Stress is very valuable and i should only stress about money and study...

There are a few ways to solve this problem. I could walk up to her at school and give her a hard slap with my left hand. Hard enough that it will leave 5 fingers impression on her right cheek or i could give her a verbal assault in front of her friends that will shame her or i could just let the matter rest.

I am going to let the matter rest. Its not that i am admitting defeat or acknowledging the fact that her words are true but i think i just can't be bothered. Like i've said, its just a waste of time and energy. Let her LAN JIAO WEI all she want about Wandi until she is happy. Wandi, all this had never intentionally LAN JIAO WEI about Sri to her friends or my classmate. Do what you want. As long as it pleases you. I've found other better things to do.

Me and Nabeel are forming a partnership and only Nabeel will know if what i've said about you are true. He was in the same boat as i am. Only he knows whether i am LAN JIAO WEING about you or not. To others, my words may just be a compostion derived from my imagination but to those who know you, they know my words are nothing but the truth.

Like always, Wandi speaks nothing but the truth. If i know it, i know it. If i've done it, means i've done it. If not, i won't act smart unlike someone called Sr.... Ok, lets not LAN JIAO WEI about you.

I don't know why the hell you have to create stories and make me look bad. Now, whenever your friends look at me, i bet they will be like "Hey, thats the guy that hit Sri". Nvm nvm nvm, let people have the impression that Wandi is an asshole. Well, maybe i am an asshole. Its ok. I've said this a million times and i will say it again. I can't control the words that comes out from your mouth and i can't control what your brain is thinking. So, there's no point of trying to counter your words. You may be more fluent than me and i might end up being shamed by your words vice versa. I shall not embarass myself. I shall just keep quiet. I can LAN JIAO WEI about you but i won't. Cause if i do, i am stooping down to your level. Remember this, Wandi is an adult but Sri is a kid. Its sad to say that despite sharing the same age as my classmates, you don't share the same maturity level as them. To me, you are still a 15 year old girl playing gossiping games.

***I know this post sounds like a defence statement but its not one. Its never meant to be. This post is just to clarify that i did not do what she said. Yes, i was guilty of 323 by dangerous means but i never hit her with a helmet. A helmet is too sacred a headgear to hit such an awful object like her. Helmets shall be treated with respect. They protect your skull in an event of an accident.

To those who believe my words are true, thank you. But then again, remember this, my words may not be true. Remember what i did to Cherry? It COULD COULD happen again. Well, its up to you to believe. I don't need to a convincing job. Sometimes, such situation are a test to friendship. Well, i can rest assured knowing that my friends trust me. I have faith in my friends even if they don't have faith in me. Oh ya, Wandi is a changed. I vow not to result to violence in dealings with women or whoever for that matters.

***One more important thing. The identity of Informer A cannot be revealed. Sorry ah but die die cannot tell you who informer A is. Informer A is an asset who provides me information about assholes who bad mouth me. Thank you very much informer A. I know you will read this and to those who happen to know who is informer A, please do not reveal her name on any part of my blog which includes the tagboard. I have to protect my informer. Please note that exposing my informer is an offence Under the Official Secrets Act, Cap. 213. hahahaha. Hey wait i am serious. Please don't expose my informer.

Good night everyone. Thank you for reading.



You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you.
Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.

-Thank you Shahril for the words of wisdom.

My reincarnation

So, today went to service my bike. Damage. $88. Then went to town. Oh ya, Shahril got himself a cashcard sia. We were like strolling around Far East Plaza, joking about stuffs and talking to each other instead of looking at stuffs. Well, window shopping was minimal. Later met Amrun at AMK.



Here's where the story of Wandi reincarnation aka Shahril. Talking about road traffic. To those who don't understand road traffic, next post please.



Riding normally to AMK via CTE (SLE) after which we exited at AMK Ave 1.



Traffic was quite dense as it was during the peak hours. Speed 85 - 100 km/h. So, there were a few incidents of near misses and one tail gating driver. I was like brushing off all lousy drivers and just evading them (macam mat rempit eh).



One lousy ass driving a Gold coloured Toyota Camry cut into Ril lane abruptly and when was horned, he played with his brakes. Afterwhich, he tail gated me.



I turned my head 270 degrees to have a good look at the distance he was following as all i saw from my side mirrors were blinding light. He back-off and changed lane.



Shahril was like super-pissed. While waiting for the traffic lights to turn green, Ril was like staring at the driver (the windows were like super-tinted) and gesturing asking the driver what the hell he was trying to do. I was like look at him then aaargh can't be bothered. Hadn't i stop Shahril, i think the driver would get a verbal assault. I was like, "Hey forget it la. Don't entertain these monkeys ah".



So i realised something. I've become very passive on the roads. Last time, cut my lane, i'll stare and scold. Now, just evade. Cannot evade knock him and claim insurance (if i am in the right).



I also realised that Shahril temper on the roads is super volatile. He will not hesitate to confront idiotic drivers. That was Wandi in the past. Now, i am playing the evading game. Shahril turned into Wandi sia. He wasn't like that when he was riding his WR 200.



I was telling Shahril "Hey Ril, my baby 150 (now belongs to Ril) i think got ghost ah. Whoever ride the bike, sure very fierce one. People cut lane only tio scolding".



Errm, is it the machine? Is it the man?



I dunno. All i know is that Shahril is like Wandi when he was riding the CBR 150 RR. Please tone down my friend. Control the anger. As much as i am reminding Ril, i am also reminding myself.



Then we were like, all these asshole motorcyclist who want to race with each other stupid. Motorcyclist already so vulnerable somemore want to race. Form an alliance against lousy drivers more better. Cut our lane we call our gang and bash up the driver. lol.



Wanted to talk about a major issue today but then again. I wanna sleep now. Super tired. Maybe can blog on Thursday.



Was running through my organiser when i stumbled across this qoute from Helen Keller (dunno who is this person lah). Quite meaningful. It will be at the bottom of this post.



One more thing, Jessie thank you for taking leave on my birthday eh. I know its still super far from now but wah touching sia. lol. I promise to make myself free on your birthday. And i didn't forget ok. 6 July 1988. Oh gosh, its a Monday. Maybe should apply LOA. lol. Errmm, i like your foresight eh. Plan ahead ah.


I was talking to Jannah and was like wah Jessie plan very far. Touch wood later i die all plans go down the drain. lol. Ok, now i fear death. Oh ya, if there's a need to reduce the number of humans on earth, oh god please take me instead of Jessie or my friends first. Can't imagine living without a friend or knowing that you've lost a friend.



Life is a roller coaster ride. Yesterday, lowest peak today can be highest peak. But for now, i am like in the middle. So must treasure all these moments in case touch wood if tio accident and die, in hell or heaven i will curse and swear if i never treasure the moments. lol.



For now, good night everyone. Thank you for reading.



Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength unfeatable.

- Helen Keller

Occurence

Today was informed by Hairin that he and Jannah heard whatever i was talking to Ah Hong at work on Monday. I accidentally pressed the redial button on my bluetooth headset. And yeah, this bluetooth headset is giving me more problems then solving.

What happened?

I was like disturbing Ah Hong touching him intimately here and there (gay boy acts). Here are the few things i remembered.

Hong asking me to go Geylang if i need to satisfy my desires.

I was like... Where got fun??? Must pay ley. Fuck prostitute where got nice?

I was like "Hey hong, become gay with me ah... girl dun want me already ley. Nowadays real girls hard to find. All become lesbian la what la. So we become gay la."

Hong was like f ing here and there.

I talked a lot of stuffs but forgot what i said.

But well, life is like very weird. Lesbians, gays and bisexual people. Can't they just have one sexual orientation. Need to make more lesbian, gay and bisexual friends to understand these people.

I know Jannah, Hairin and a few others were laughing at me right. Knn ccb. Intrude my privacy. Its ok. Aku clown pe... Hahaha.

Next topic.

Pictures speak a thousand words...

Pictures time :)

Men and their late night outings


Far East Plaza carpark bridge (One of the rare NOT late night outing)

Fort Canning last weekend


Like mermaid sia this pose

Nice background

Esplanade before New Year (if not wrong)

Enough of the 3 musketeers and their late night outings. Machine Time

AMK Multi Purpose Hall

Last week bike washing session

A message in a bottle... no no no its a message on my blog

Supposed to sleep but nvm its ok. Need to get this message across first before sleeping.

As usual, Wandi like to digress. Firstly, work suck. Intend to go to Simon Road for an interview tomorrow after school. Secondly, life suck. Too many things to pay and to little time to spend with Jessie, friends, family let alone find another girl.

Let me see, Cherry used to write her feelings out in the form of a letter. Sri talked things out. And now, something new to me. Jessie is blogging her feelings. Well, at least you don't keep it to yourself and i get to know whats in you.

Back to the topic.

Errrm, how should i start...

My phone had been 'silent' the whole day. Everytime it rings, i am hoping that it would be a message or call from you but sad to say, it never happened. Wishful thinking again.

Somehow, i just hope that you are able to let go of the past and start on a fresh page. The past affects how people behave in the future. Remembered when you said "Why you like to talk about the past?" I talk about the past to remind myself that i shouldn't do things i've did. Its ok if you do not wish to talk about the past. However, don't sweep the past under the carpet and let it ruin your future. Just like you, i am no angel. We, as humans, will never be perfect and there's always a tendency of us to make mistakes. The important thing is that we shall learn from our mistakes and ensure that it doesn't recur. We should try to make sure that history doesn't repeat itself. If you let the past influence your decisions and actions in the future, it means that you have not let go of the past. Of course, such things are easier said than done. I hope that you are able to let go of it as time pass. Life is full of challenges. Its either we overcome the challenges or the challenges would overcome us. Hadn't i overcome the great depression after Cherry left me, i doubt i would meet you. If there's one thing i want to thank god, it would be to allow me to continue walking this earth that i've walked far enough to meet you.

There's no need for you to apologize to me. I don't believe in one party being fully responsible when things go wrong. The same road traffic principles applies in life too. In a quarrel, its a matter of two parties acting negligently. I believe i was being unreasonable by expecting this and that from you. On the other hand, i feel that you are taking things a bit too lightly. Actions speaks louder than words. I wonder if my actions had sent the wrong message. If Wandi is the cause for the violation letter, i am sorry.

I never get bored of meeting you. In fact, i always look forward to meeting you even if it means that i am sleeping on my bike on the way to meet you. Its ok, as long as i get to meet you. The only thing that matters is that we enjoy the time we spend together. There's no point in meeting if both of us are pulling long faces and thats the reason why i said that you shouldn't expect me to be a taxi driver and ferry you around. So far, you've been a good girl and not demand transport but Wandi being a contradicting person always go back on his words. When its love you give, naturally i'll be a taxi driver. Thats the reason why my baby FBB registered CBR 150 travelled almost 40k km in less than 1.5 years. Pasir Ris, Temasek Secondary, Tampines and Changi Airport. If we get together, the tires of my baby Revo can look forward to kissing the tar of Bukit Batok and Choa Chu Kang very often. It used to be the East Side Roads. If things goes the way i want it to be, it would be the Roads of the West Side.

I know that i've sorrying here sorrying there. Please know that when i say something i mean it. I don't say for the sake of saying it or to make you happy. I try avoid using sorry as much as possible as i don't want to sorry to sound like hi or bye but if i've done something wrong, its only right for me to apologize. I'm not saying sorry for the things i didn't do wrong. I know i did something wrong thats why i am saying sorry. Just like you, a man like me is very egoistic but i've learnt to put my ego aside when situation calls for. I may be breathing oxygen for 21 years, seen a lot of things, heard a lot of things, did a lot of things but i don't know everthing. I am not god. So i believe that there are times when i need to bow my head down and let others show me the things i've not seen. Even if it means that i should learn from those who are younger than me, i will bow down and learn from them. Nobody knows everything. If they do, they are god. I am certainly not god or no where near that.

Its ok if you hate me. As far as i'm concerned you have not done anything wrong, thus there's no reason for me to hate you. I don't believe in making enemies. I love making friends. Its just part of me. To find another girl, i doubt i will do it in the near future. To wait for someone to come to me, i think thats more like it. Lets face it, i am squeezing time for personal tasks like visiting my mum, granny and to spend time with my friends. So i doubt, i will start another search. If you leave me, i will resume my wait. If letting go of this friendship will make you happy, please do so. I am not encouraging you to do so but i don't want to hold you back and let you suffer silently. In fact, i don't want you to go but if its for your happiness, i will let you go willingly. On my part, i am hoping that we will mend our ways so that we can continue enjoying each others company like before.

Lately, i've been having fetish about death. Just like how its so cool to die by bleeding from the mouth. Don't you think it would be cool if this post end with the words "By the time you read this, i would be gone. Take care of yourself and enjoy life. I'll be looking after you from up above". For now, that statement would only be in my mind.

I'll still be waiting for your calls and smses. Hopefully, i don't have to wait long.

Its time to call it a day. Good night. Thank you for reading.

Relationships and Wandi

I'm still not done.

Time to talk about matters of the heart.

Lets face it. Good friends and women are on the verge of extinction if not extinct. BGR back then was about true love. BGR today, 90% not 100% of the times is about money. Back then, women look for men who can stand by them in times of need, men with ethics, men who are caring and etc. I have an aunt whose husband earns less than 1k and she's not working. She's struggling financially but she's happy with him and they have 3 kids and are still together. Today such Romeo and Juliet stories don't happen. Even if they do, its super rare. Now, women look for men who are having a stable income, stable this stable that. All about money. Of course, i don't want to be cash strapped when i have a wife. Its not part of my plans.

I will not rule out the fact that in money is important in life. Many of you will by now know that i treasure money but then not everything is about money. When it comes to matters of the heart, money aside.

Thats the women side. Now, the men side.

Women look for money man. Man without a doubt look for women with looks. Sometimes, i don't understand. Big boobs and big butt thats what men like. Pretty la size d bra cup la XXXL g-string la. Men's interest. Well to me, big boobs+beautiful face+big ass = big ego+small heart+brains. Most of the time though. Not all the times. But i never fall in the group of 'not all the times'.

Can't we just forgo all these physical appearance and monetary factors and start considering things like understanding, care, concern, love, compromise and most important thing HONESTY and TRANSPARENCY?

So what am i looking for in a women?
Put looks aside. What i need is someone that can shower me with love, care, concern. Show me that you are honest and of course, being transparent in all dealings.

The last time god sent me such a girl, i decided to be bastard.

I know Jessie will always say "Why you like to talk about the past?".

The reason i am talking about my past now is because i just feel like drowning myself in sorrow and hopefully die soon. Life's so sucky now. View my life on an oscilloscope now and you will see that i am at the lowest peak. Life suck for now. All other times, i try to learn from the past when i am talking about the past.

And yeah, when i was with Cherry i was like a super jerk. I will not think twice about laying my hands on her. Give her a verbal diarhorrea. Instruct her to do things that are unthinkable. And now, when she's gone, Wandi was like weeping. Sianzzz. No used crying over spilled milk but then whatever valuable lessons i've learnt from this relationship, i'll try to apply in the next.

So in the next relationship that was with Sri, i tried to be a little bit more democratic. Listen, advice, become a taxi driver, compromise, spend a little bit on her but then still failed. What went wrong? Ask Sri.

After this few failed relationships, i think its not the women, its Wandi. There's something i need to do. I wonder what i can do to improve things.

Digress a bit. Few weeks back, my mum was like "Why you like to make friends with Chinese girls ah? Malay girls not pretty ah? Malays girls not educated ah? Malay girls not good enough is it?". So i was like "No la, make friends only what". Errrmm, sometimes i wonder too why i go for Chinese girls. Let me remind you, its nothing to do with the colour. So far, i've yet to have an ang moh girlfriend. Melayu, Indian, China. Complete. One each.

Back to the topic, all i'm asking for is someone who can understand me, show me love, care, concern, support me when i'm down and of course be HONEST and transparent with all your words. Things like colour, appearance, status, background, i don't give a fuck. Send me a prostitute with all these values i asked for, i will TRY to accept her. Put all history behind and move on. Nonetheless, learn from history. AM I ASKING FOR TOO MUCH?

Send me a gorgeous slut who can't treat me well or treat me like a dog, i will start the dissappearing act. Just like what i did to Salmia, the girl i knew at SSDC. I need a girlfriend but i am not desperate for one. If i feel that i can't cope with you, then bye bye. I still got my super four to hug every morning and night. Its ok. Life is hard without a companion but i won't die without a companion.

For now, the search continues. Someone something please end it soon. 2 ways to end it. Happily or sadly.

I wonder why when you expect something you don't get it. You put in so much effort and hope for something good, then what you get is nonsense. This applies to life generally and not only relationship. So i think i shouldn't expect it. I should just let it come normally. Take things slowly. Sigh. I'm starting to be an asshole again. I'm sorry if i've offended you lately.

Digress abit again. I was telling my classmates that actually this girl from my course called Pauline is a good girl. When i was crazy over her, she start giving me the 'Fuck tup attitude' act. I guess it was a good thing. Now, I've learnt to cope with things. Its better than getting lead on then when its too serious, the other party bails out. That just suck. You will feel super crappy. Errmm, so it was a blessing in disguise.

Digress a bit believe it or not, just now i went to Bugis. I wanted to go to town but Shahril the racer got no cashcard so we decided to go to Bugis so that we could 'escape' ERP. I WAS LIKE SUPER LOST. I'm like a stranger in town. Then, we were like strolling at Parco and Bugis Village. Somehow, i got no mood to look at chocolates. Lately, i've been having this nonchalant attitude towards women. I don't enjoy looking at chocolates anymore. Not as much as last time. Don't get me wrong, i'm not turning gay.

AND YEAH, I NEED TO TYPE THIS IN CAPS.

DON'T EVER FUCKING GO TO BUGIS OR TOWN AREA WITHOUT A FUCKING CASHCARD. I WAS TURNING ROUND AND ROUND BUGIS AREA TO FIND A PARKING PLACE WITHOUT HAVING TO GO THROUGH THE GANTRY THANKS TO SHAHRIL. SUPER FOUR PETROL VERY EXPENSIVE LEY!!! NVM, BROTHERS PUNYA PASAL I FORGIVE YOU THIS TIME ROUND BUT NO SECOND TIME. <----Shahril if you read this, please take note. Shahril said "Card ada, cash takde". Very funny eh.

Time to call it day.

For all those who have been reading since 2008, thank you for the continous support. Good night everyone.



How to be a better man? Someone please advice.

Contradicting Words

As you can see, i am still not done blogging and pouring out whatever that is in my heart. So more talk for now.

There are times when i feel that i am full of contradictions.

Contradiction no.1 is road related. I was like super condemning drink driving before i started riding but i was guilty of it. Way before class bbq i was already drink riding. I always tell myself, i'm sober enough to control the machine but then again i guess if you were to put the BEA machine in my mouth, i would fail the test badly. I think its time to do something about this.

When i was riding my baby 150, i was like oh this bike will be with me until Class 2. No way i am letting go of this baby. Now, come baby 400, i totally forget about my 150. At this juncture, i tell myself, yes 400cc is powerful but i am still itching for more power. Hopefully at 1000cc can satisfy my craving. So i think i won't stop at 400cc. Powerful but not powerful enough.

Back then, it was all about integrity and honesty (talking about money not relationship here). But now, put a substantial amount of money in front of me, all my ethics will be put aside. Money first. And the only other time when money cannot buy me is when i am working under Chapter 213, Official Secrets Act. Like when i was in the force.

Next topic. For now, its time to minimize contradictions.

Wandi... Good or bad?

As you can see, i've a lot of things to say today and i'm like super moody. Fuck here fuck there... Aargh, i'm smoking away my lungs and blogging. I don't know the exact adjective to use to describe my mood. I guess the word FUCK TUP is the nearest adjective i can use.

Things in life happen for a reason. And for everything that happened, i strongly believe that you can control the outcome. To a large extent. Maybe only 10% of outcome you can't control. Eg, acts of god and etc. What leadership taught me. Locus of control.

But then i realise this. When i do good things, people don't appreciate my kindness. They take my kindness as my weakness. Take that fucking lousy management at the place where i used to work. I came to work on time and did as told but what the fuck did i get? They delayed my pay.

Another example, my mum. When i was staying in Bishan, she will verbally fuck me every single day and night. Now, i am staying with my dad, now and then she will call and say she miss me and start weeping. Oh god, i can't stand her nonsense but at the same time, to see a women a cry just soften my heart. Believe it or not, when i see my loved ones cry, i join them. Hahahaha... As evil as i am, i still have a heart.

So now, i've taken this stance. At work, when it comes to money, i throw away all my ethics. All these things about moral courage, integrity will be put aside. Money is the aim. By hook or crook, i must and will get it. Why am i doing this? Cause when i was trying to earn a decent and honest living, people treat me like a fool.

And mind you Melayu people did this to me. Where are all the promises of "kita orang melayu and etc"??? Down the drain. My ass. Sometimes, wait most of the times but not all the times Melayu people cannot work properly. Give them work want to tai chi. Then after that make noise. This fucked tup la that fucked tup la. Ccb... Thats why i hate working with Melayu people. Bunch of jerks at time. One of the irony of my life, Melayu but don't like Melayu. This is nothing racial but the truth. Too all the Melayu people reading this, don't blame me for saying this but look around you. Look at where the Melayu society is heading. Unwanted pregnancies, sky rocketting divorce rate and of course not forgetting the old Melayu sickness, drug abusers. To all the Melayu people with mindset of success and helping people irregardless of their colour, gua caya sama lu... Continue striving. I will either join the group of Melayu people with success mind or i will join the Melayu people at Cck burial grounds soon. Time will tell.

As for my mum, its ok. Make her learn the hard way of appreciating me. Don't appreciate Wandi, then you don't deserve my kindness and presence. Too bad, life is about karma. Treat me like crap, i'll do the same thing.

Thats why i tell my close buddies, if you come to funeral crying, if i can wake up and slap you, i will. Cry for formality but not because of the fact that you are sad. Crying at a funeral friend funeral is unavoidable but appreciate me when i am alive not when i am dead. No use crying over a dead corpse.

And now, my fucking phone is giving me a fucking attitude problem. I feel like slamming it for good. Well, i realise that at least now, i can so called control my anger. I will start the disappearing act when i am moody so that i don't offend people around me. But then again. I tend to offend classmates when i am moody. Time to change again. Time to smoke away the fucking stress temporarily.

Good or bad Wandi, you judge.

Old Habits Die Hard

As i was saying. Humans being humans, including me tend to celebrate the arrival of something without much thinking.

Most of us ring in the new year with parties, celebrations, champagnes, wine and the list goes on. Most of us also always have a so called 'New Year Resolution'. We wish for this and that but how many times do we succeed meeting our so called 'New Year Resolution'.

After walking this earth for 21 years, i've just realised that i think i've not met any of my new year resolution.

2003 new year resolution was to be a good boyfriend but i've failed
2004 same resolution same failure
2005 till now want to quit smoking same failure.

Anything below 2002 i was too young to think maturely to make resolutions. All i thought was about childish stuffs like dreaming of my secondary school crush to be my girlfriend. Sheesh. Wishful thinking. Even things like bikes were not in my dictionary. All i thought about was fighting and creating trouble. Rebellious years i guess.

2009, i hope i will be able to get that damn class 3 that i've be longing for since i was 18. Its not that i've lost the interest for 2 wheels. I just wanna feel 180 km/h inside a metal cage called car. And i wanna do it legally when i have enough skill to control the machine. Not like some dumbass inexperienced lousy driver who perform stunts on 4 wheels and end up dying. Ok wait, they die its ok but most of these idiots don't die, they kill their passengers.

Other than that. i wanna fucking quit smoking for god sake and of course not forgetting its either i save money, get a new pipe or side bike for work.

More talk next post.

First Post of 2009

Well done, 2009 is here.

As usual, i was ringing in the new year with less enthusiasm, work and much thinking of how i could improve life or settle my debts so that i can proceed with self induced death or something like that. Somehow, i find it cool to die by bleeding from the mouth. Its like so Hollywood style.

2008 was like a super tough year as usual. Well, no one but myself to blame for all these suffering.

Hopefully 2009 will not be as tough but by the look of it, i think its going to tougher if not the same.

Lets see.... 2008 target was to:

Save money
Find a girlfriend
Buy a Super Four
Pass Class 2A
Pass Class 3
Study hard and get good grades
QUIT SMOKING

I set myself so many targets but i only managed to get 2 of 'em and they are

New Super Four
Class 2A

Fucked tup!!!

Well, for now, i think its time to do something about my results. The grades are slipping badly. Now this is another worry.

2009 Target
Study Hard
Class 3
Save Money
Ermmm, either a Yoshi full system or 2nd hand wave (side bike for work purposes)
QUIT SMOKING

Lets put aside the class 2 and women for now. I'm too sick and tired of life too get a girlfriend. Nothing seems to be going my way. Fuck this life. Aaargh, right now, i feel so crappy. Need to talk to someone. A pyshiatrist perhaps. For class 2, i won't have enough money to own that beloved Cbr 1000 RR so lets forget that and push it to long term goal. As for smoking, i thought i was going to quit until until... For now, i just wanna smoke and rot my body.

Sometimes i wonder this, why people are so happy about the new year. Tbc in next post.

Whats the meaning of life?

Its been 8 days since the last post. Well, the silence is due to the fact that i am losing mood for everything which includes riding my baby Super Four, working, going out and i am not even looking forward to go to school tomorrow. Fuck this life man. Life just suck. I know its been sometime since i've said life suck but then this life really really suck for now.

Life is getting bad to worse. Cigarettes back to square one. Physically i am not fully charged, despite the so called holidays, i am not resting. Work, i am like no more with Pizza Hut. School begins tomorrow and yeah leadership project proposal dateline is wednesday before 1200 hrs. No fucking progress at all. Seems like everyone including me is not interested in the project. We are all more interested in our own lives. Well, who gives a fuck about school or anything else for that matters.

And CDS choices suck. Just like the lecturers. What the fuck subjects are they offering us? Totally crappy. They should offer subjects like understanding women or maybe understanding life instead of crap like understanding theatre. Omg, what the fuck is wrong with the school, giving us so fucking lame choices. Crap!

I realise that when you put in 110% effort in something, you expect a good outcome and when it turns out fucking crap, your life just turn fucking down. The whole fucking world is just like crumbling on you. I'm just fucking bored when you try your best in something then you reap no rewards. All you get is surface enthusiastic results.

So now, i think i shall just take this stance. Don't do your best. Like what i've learnt in the Leadership. Take the pragmatic approach. Give in the minimal or what is just needed so that i won't be so hopeful of outstanding results.

At work, i came to work on time and did everything that was needed and what did i get? Late payments. On top of that, i was even scolded by the Restaurant Manager and told to FUCK off. Sheesh, gangsters and their lack of professionalism. It seems that all these rider jobs are full of gangsters. Its just a matter of time before i turn into one. Well, who gives a fuck? I don't.

I recall telling Jessie that its my challenge to make you give a 110% if we get together. Its not that often that Wandi says "I take back my words" but for now, i think i have to.

I've lost confidence in my own self and my own life. I am just running through the motions of this fucking crappy life. That applies to everything.

I've lost confidence in work, study, relationship and that lovely Super Four of mine. I don't know what got into me but i just wish i have the guts to slice my throat. Its ok to die just like that. I don't have a kid a wife or any anyone to support. Sigh. this fucking life. But first, pay off Shahril and Amrun cash. To die off without paying off my debts is just being irresponsible and thats not Wandi. Die responsibly.

I dunno if its the failed attempts to seek a significant other, work, study or money. Or are all these failures making me give up? I ask myself again. Fuck this life man. All the crap are coming to me at once. I can't take it.

At this point, i ask myself, "What is the meaning of life when things you enjoy doing are no longer enjoyable?".

I don't want to die or end my life too early. There are still loads of things that i've yet to do but then i got no might to carry on life happily. Like i've said, i'm just running through the motions.

And of course, the pretence will continue. No one will see a sad Wandi. You can hear and/or read about my rants of a sucky life but to see me crying or just being sad, i think it won't happen. Its not easy. Worse case scenario, you'll see Wandi lying in bed motionless. I am a good pretender but lousy at expressing sadness in public. Thats just Wandi.

Good night everyone. Thank you for reading this post full of F language and for now enough of ranting about this fucking sucky life.

Beat the clock or get beaten by the clock

Time tells stories. Good, bad, ugly, sad and happy tales. Tough men stand the test of time.

And for the whole day, i was like sending orders with only 3 songs in my ears. All for one All for love, Always and I Live My Live For You. There are reasons why i chose these songs. On top of 3 songs, i was like running at only 60-70 km/h until dinner peak. Imagine this, Wandi being a man who loves high speeds and corners travelling at 60??? Omg, there must be something wrong. But then, despite going slow, i still 'terjun' at corners. Haha, corners just give me the thrill. Well, not with Jessie or whoever behind me of course. Pizzas can be overturned and messed up for all i care but losing a pillion because of a corner is a no no.

The great depression is slowly but surely setting in again after being gone for years. I'm not sure if i can stand the test of time this time round.

Firstly, its like i am dragging my feet to work. If i am still riding my baby 150, i will just take a long needed break. But then, thanks to baby Super Four, i can't take a break. Work is getting sucky as the clock tick. Pay was delayed, cash short, asshole playing my docket and of course not forgetting that asshole MR KNOW IT ALL trying to act smart and rule the shop. Well, do as you like. You will work for Pizza Hut until you die but i won't. If money can buy a good rest for me, i will work hard and buy it. I need a break for god sake. If i'm not working, i'm studying. When was the last time i had a day off without having work, school or anything to settle. A time where i can just sleep the whole day. I can't recall.

So Jessie gave me a word of advice. And thats to go through all these crap no matter what happened. Thanks for the advice. At the end of the day, its the money i want and nothing else. After much thought and consideration, yeah i think i will stay. First, its because of the money. Second, if i leave, its like saying "I give up". Ok, i'll make sure that asshole leave instead of me. Woo, thats the greatest pleasure i will have. I will try to stand the test of time. Army slogan "Tough times don't last, tough men do". Yeah, keep that in mind please Wandi.

So, i was like damn slow rider until the dinner peak. When the sun set, the devil Wandi wakes up. I was zip-zapping the streets and weaving in and out cars like nobody business. Speeding all the way. And not forgetting, slip road of Kallang Bahru and Bendemeer, thats where Pizza Hut boys rule. Thats where we bank for corner like there's no more corners. In short, during dinner peak, Wandi was reckless. Control control control please.

When i feel down, the words accident and death are momentarily erased out of my dictionary. Disregarding safety, i do what i want and as i like. I have a feeling Jessie will be mad at me after reading this post.... Ermmm, shall i stop bloggin about this?? Aaargh, maybe not. And yeah, back to the story, somehow when i feel down and i tend do crazy stuffs, but then again i feel like there's an angel keeping watch over me. Whoever or whatever that angel that keeps me alive and riding till now, thank you. I know i shouldn't take life for granted but sometimes i feel so fucked tup in life. Nothing seems to go as planned. Be it work, relationship, school and etc. Maybe its just Wandi that suck. Yeah, i think i suck man!!!

I don't know how long i can stand the test of time. I hope long enough to get what i want. And the weird thing about life is that when you are sad and pray for death, it doesn't come but when you are happy, it comes. Sigh.

Ermmm, before i end this post, i would like to of course thank whoever and/or whatever that is still keeping me alive and of course giving me the might to go to work and school everyday. Thank you for keeping me alive despite all these crap.

And i shall not take road safety for granted. I hope i won't. I shall learn to treasure life once again.

Oh ya, mum called few days back when i was having reservist. She was like crying and telling me that she missed me. I bet she just finished reading the news about the Pizza boy who died. She gets super paranoid when she reads about road accidents or when someone dies. The same thing happened when her friend son passed away after being stabbed at a bike shop. Oh gosh, I feel so bad. I only go there to collect money and not willingly visit her. Sigh, bad son, bad friend, bad student, bad worker. Wandi suck!!! I'm sorry mummy. I know i've not been a filial son.

Sometimes, I dunno whats wrong with me. I just want to have someone who i can fall back on but Wandi without fail always screw it up. Screwed up Wandi. Oh gosh, i feel like getting on my baby now and just killing myself on my bike.

I don't know how long i can go on like this. If i can't continue, i think i shall leave earth on my super four. Well, at least i get to bring my super four along to heaven or hell for that matters.

For now, live have to go on. I am not praying for death or an accident. I don't wish for bad things to happen despite them happening. I am praying for things to go as planned. I am praying to get what i want. I don't know if i can get it. God oh god, please give me what i want.

Gotta call it day. Working again tomorrow. And the target for tomorrow is 23 orders. If you are staying within 5km of Kallang Pizza Hut, please please please call Pizza Hut. I need to send more orders and earn docket.

Nights everyone. Thank you for reading.

I hope i don't get beaten by the clock. Please give me faith and might to stand the test of time. Please keep me alive.

The Good and the bad

And so today morning, before reporting for reservist, Wandi went to have breakfast with Jessie at errrmmm where is that place... oh ya Bukit Batok. It seems that Singapore is so small. Middle to end in like 20 minutes. And yeah, if things continue this way and i hope it does, the West side roads will be at the back of my head in no time.

Went for reservist. Dissapointment. Was rejected because of my some tiny patches of tinted hair at the back of my head which i forget to dye. Ok, thats bad. Now, i got plan b for future recall orders. But then again, managed to catch up with my friends... And of course, not forgetting, pictures oh pictures.

So, despite being rejected, i think today is like a good day especially the breakfast part. hahaha... thats of course, not taking into consideration that i only had 4 hours of sleep... but its still worth it :)

Welcome to Echo Division

First and most important visit, Division Traffic Patrol Unit Office

Errm, i should consider a career in Traffic :)

Next victim, armoury

Duty armourer

My old desk. Old gosh, its in a mess

HTA and the boys

Changing room... :)

The target which i never get to shoot...

When duty calls. lol...

And so, my hair is like black in colour again. Going back for reservist tomorrow. Wohoo... So excited? lol... I miss 'E' division. hahaha... After like almost a year, i'll be back in uniform. And Wandi was like cam-whoring with his uniform :) Please let me shoot that bloody target good and get $200... :)

At your service :)

Nights everyone. Thank you for reading.

I dunno

Well i wonder what am i doing blogging now. I am like supposed to be sleeping now.

Oh gosh, lately there's just something dangling at the back of my head that cause me to have restless nights and i always don't feel good when i have to wake up early. Especially when i have 12 hour day ahead of me.

And if thats bad enough, something bad just happened again few moments ago. I'm sorry...

Now, i don't know where to start. Gosh, i'm still hard trying to do my best for everything...

Good morning people.... Thank you for reading.

Sianzzz....

Reading this post on STOMP sent shivers down my spine.

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/viewContent.jsp?id=46345

But then again, no one owes me a living. I've gotta sweat for my own survival. Furthermore, if i go, i'm not leaving anyone who is dependant on me. So i think it should be alright :) And yeah, even if i have to go, i will pay off my friends debts first.

I'm still trying hard to hold that principle that live doesn't suck :)

Nights everyone. Thank you for reading.

Back to square one

Its been sometime...

First and foremost, my gold chain snapped. $25 to solder back the chain. Oh gosh, moral of the story, i will take out the chain when i am sleeping.

Secondly, i am once again powered by Redbull. 4 1/2 hours of sleep on Thursday night and 5 1/2 hours of sleep yesterday. The only thing that kept me running was Redbull. Well, the recommended consumption is 3 cans/day. I am not exceeding. In fact, i am only drinking 2 cans/day. So its still ok.... Life is getting tough again. I love exam periods. I can have good rest despite exam stress but now, back to short hours of sleep again.

Errmm, everytime i have the urge to utter 'Life sucks', i think Super Four, think new exhaust system (mauriwaki or GPR???), think thicker gold chain, think of branded goods (lol) and LIFE ROCKS!!! hahaha...

Thirdly, the politics at work is getting more complicated. Now, i don't know who can be trusted. But i don't really care actually. Come to work on time and get my pay on time. I think my life is also so stressful and i should not add anymore unnecessary stress. I will snap in no time if i do. And i am losing confidence in Pizza Hut management because of my pay. Rumours are that we will get our pay late. And that doesn't sound good. Especially when i have my credit bill, hp bill, gold chain, installment and an endless list of things to pay. Well, pay late or short, i will seek redress. I think its time i start drafting an email that i might send to MOM or maybe i should have a template. hehehe. And yeah, rescued Ramdan at Upper Boon Keng today. He ran out of petrol while sending orders. Silly him. lol...

The tin that carried 2.5 litres or so of petrol to rescue Ramdan

And yeah, Thursday night met... I asked god to send me an angel but instead i was given a minah rep. lol. Let me caution you that the minah rep god sent me is no ordinary minah rep you can find on the streets of Orchard Road or the Geylang lorongs. This is one rare breed of minah. Ok i think i should stop calling her minah rep. I'm super confident that she will read this anytime. I'm not sure if its too early to say this but i think (let me emphasize that when it comes to such things, i rarely say i think. I prefer the words "I'm sure") i've found someone whom i can relate to. I enjoy her company. I'm not sure if its a vice versa thingy. I hope she enjoyed my company. And Jessie is her name. Despite having to 'Tour de Choa Chu Kang"(thats what i tell my rider friends when i was meeting her), its ok. And yeah, JANNAH THIS IS NOT REMOTE CONTROL!!!. lol. Despite all the hassle, i guess it's kinda worth it. I travelled almost 100km the first time i met her. CCK, Thomson, Town, AMK, CCK and back home.

Errm, i am sorry Jessie that i was running at 130 km/h on KJE when i sent you home. I was tired and tired Wandi cannot ride slow. If i do that, i will be on the left lane travelling at 60/70 km/h taking forty winks. I know i was speeding but i wasn't reckless. hahaha... I know its very irresponsible of me to speed but oh gosh 20 years of experience so worries about safety, now i'm having second thoughts of going second link with you. But then again, i remember telling Shahril "Ride fast but ride safely". Till now, i still hold the principle of "Speeding don't kill, recklessness do". Well well well... To go or not to go... Thats the question now.

So all this talk about Jessie, i think God sent me angel. Hahahaha... Thats the reason for the song by Scorpions :) Well, i know its too early to say this but i personally feel that its ok to praise people on first sight rather than critisize. And believe it or not, i was searching this Malay jiwang song, Nadya, from all my MAT ROCKERS friends. I couldn't find it but i've found it on Jessie mobile. Oh gosh, this girl got more Malay songs than Chinese songs in her mobile. Beyond belief. I'm impressed.

Hehehe... thats the tired Jessie after work at AMK Park Mccafe

Finally, i think i am trying to hard to please people around me. Be it Jessie, the band of the brothers, school mates or colleagues. I try to be and do everything. I know i can be irritating. I'm sorry. I try my best to make others happy but there are times i fail. Bon Jovi said this in the songs Always "When you say your prayers, try to understand, i make mistakes, i'm just a man". So please pardon Wandi if i've done anything to irritate or anger you. Now, the question is, am i making myself happy??? I dunno... But others before self i guess.

Hey wait!!!! I forget one thing, finally Shahril took out my old bike... Finally, i get to see my old love... FBB 3713 Y. She was mistreated by the shop. She was covered with dust. I hate bike shops. They don't treat bikes with respect. Bikes also got feelings so they must be treated with respect and love. Ahh, finally, i got to see and ride my bumble bee. Miss her so much... Now she's gotta go with Shahril... Wanna cry liao...

My baby and her new owner, Shahril (Shahril aka the racer who Corner Sampai (until) scrap footrest)

.............. Ok, will wrap up this post with some random pics.

Hairin carrying 'Madam' food at ITAS after FACOM paper. This is what happened when men are being controlled by a remote control. hahaha... Muhaimin (left) learning his footstep as he will join the gang of 'men who kena remote control' soon. Hahahaha.

New love and first love. CB 400 Revo (left) and CBR 150 RR (right)

CBR 150 RR. Still as gorgeous

Whenever i look at the pics below, i get angry. Cause the bike shop had mistreated my first love. Knn ccb bike shop.

Dirt all over the pipe

AND THE TANK!!!

AND THE HEADLIGHTS!!!

2/3 band of the brothers. The other one busy working. Alamak, tak jiwa ah... lol... Work comes first.

Good night everyone. Thank you for reading this super wordy post. Time to zzzzzz. Working at 1100 hrs. And whomever i mentioned in the post, don't be angry ah... Joking only. Especially to Madam Jannah :)

Free time free time

And yeah, i kinda love this exam period. Despite having to crack my brains, i have a lot of time for myself. Lately, have been catching up with the boys, 'studying' and running through youtube for vids. Oh gosh, take a look at the vid below... I am just in love with the song "All for love". Such a meaningful song :)


hehehehe... the playing a fool version

The Orchestra Version with Pavarotti

The 3 musketeers decided to be a 'good' boy for a while so we decided to visit the mosque for a prayer session thanks to BROTHER AMRUN!!! :)


Hey wait, i thought pictures in threes are not allowed!!!

Looks so cool this pic


After becoming 'good' boys, we decided to become devils and MCCAFE AMK PARK here we come.

Smoking time...

Wan and Ril (the racer :) )

Boys toys again. **This pic was snapped just a few hours before this post. Just came back from McCafe again :)

60A carpark on Hari Raya Haji Eve... So who is the crook? Me or Amrun?

Nights everyone. Thanks for reading. Back to Digital Fundamentals again.

Home Alone

Finally, the whole family had left for Indonesia. I can have some alone time. Peace for the next 2 weeks. During this kind of time, i wished i had a girlfriend so that she will be the last person i see before i sleep and the first person i see when i wake up for the next 2 weeks. But....

Back to harsh reality of life. Term test in 4 days. Leadership individual project dateline after term test. Group project. Installments, debts, hp bill, credit card bills. Oh gosh. Nonetheless...

After Wai Leng death, i've learnt to treasure life no matter how hard i struggle, how much i bleed or sweat to get what i want. At the end of the day, its worth it. Think of those who don't have a chance to live life as long as me. 21 years i walked this earth and only now i've realised that i should treasure life. Thus, no more suicide attempts and etc. Life rocks!!!

And i will try to listen to Hazrin advice. Boss said "Save $1/day. Could help you in times of need". So, i did some maths.

$1/day = $30/month = $90/3mths = 4 bottles of engine oil, 4 Iridium spark plug and oil filter

Worth trying. Saving $1/day, i need not worry about my bike servicing.

And yeah, the guys from my class have turned gay after numerous rejection from women and everyone knows that my class lack of women. That includes me. Look at the pictures below:

Threesome (Me, Hairin and Nabeel)

The gay lovers after FACOM

Ok ok for the record, we are not gays. We are just a bunch of crazy peeps.

Once again, the lift mirror pic

The game i don't understand. G801 boys will understand

Also, I've told someone during an msn chat that Wandi had learnt to live life with the fact that girls that i like don't like me. Its ok :)

Errmm, i still have my darling 1149 with me. She's always a part of me :)

How i wish i can hug her to bed every night :)

For now, i shall sleep. Good night everyone. Thanks for reading. And yeah, thanks Zhisin for tagging and now i know who is imposter :) STOP IT NABEEL!!!! ITS AN OFFENCE!!! muahahahaha....

Machine test

Finished copying Min notes. Just topped up petrol, bought gums and of course a pack of Sampoerna International.

2nd Link is always quiet. Dark and empty roads. Zaki was teaching me how to be a devil just now. On Singapore roads, we were travelling a comfortable 100-110 km/h. Once we crossed the causeway, here comes Zaki the devil. Ok, i ought to be blame also. I always wanted to test my machine. So went in to 2nd link with Zaki and his friend (riding a damn 1000cc machine). Zaki friend was behind guarding our tail. And yeah, Zaki was having fun. Running at 180 km\h. I was struggling behind following him. His friend, riding a 1000cc machine which can go up to 250 km/h easily was just like playing hide and seek with me. Appearing and dissappearing from my rear view mirrors. First time, i am afraid of speed and corners. Zaki was engaging the corner at Nusajaya like Valentino Rossi. I wanted to follow but then my balls were at my throat. Too bad. And i don't say such things often. But for today, safety first. Once i get used to the roads and my machine... hehehehe :)

And so, Wandi was guilty of speeding. But not of local roads of course :) lol. For once, i was kinda afraid of speed (i am like repeating this again and again). Hehehe... And i still got the cheek to say that my CBR 150 RR was slow and having ideas of owning a machine that can reach 299 km/h. Travelling at 180 km/h is no joke baby... The wind was so strong that it was literally pushing my torso backwards. I was full blasting my Mp3 yet all i could hear was the sound of wind. And when i turned back to check 'blindspot', my helmet nearly flew off. Now, i understand the use of a full-face helmet. Should get one soon :) But nonetheless, it was fun. At last, i put the Hyper V-tec to good use. My friends at Pizza were like "Why ride big bike if you only travel at 90km/h?". Sheesh, safety first. lol. And yeah a Super 4 is not a big bike. Not to me of course. A CBR 1000 RR is a big bike :) At 180 km/h, the saying "Speed is nothing without braking, power is nothing without control" comes to my head every second. Thank god, I was still able to control the machine at that speed :) Looking forward to round 2. Hahahahaha.

And yeah, i just love the Malaysian government now. lol. Pump prices dropped to RM1.90/litre. Cigarettes were still cheap and gum, no change in price. The bad part was when i was happily pumping petrol, when i realised that i have no Malaysian cash in hand. Thank god i had a saviour. Spent RM40. Ermmm, thats quite little actually.

Pictures below :)

Empty Petronas kiosk

Malaysia Boleh Petrol

The 'shopping' place

In alphabetical order

Zaki the devil and his trainee. lol

'Can't recall the guy name' and me

Boys toys :)

Study study study

Was so bored that i took nonsense pictures in class. And here they are.



Nabeel the teacher. Trying to be a teacher.

Peeping at the girls group. lol.

Rafi and the boys

Boring eh?

Hazrin left his other half for a new 'blood'. lol.

Hazrin's new blood. lol.

During DFUND.

Pictures speak a thousand words...

Late night outing with Amrun and Aida...


Welcome to Temasek Poly, Block 11 Carpark (guess which one is my bike? Which lot?)

Project or Porn???

Crazy Boys

3 Crazy Boys and One Extra girl... lol.

Spot the Difference...

Posing again during PSPS

I just love disturbing my classmates :)

Empty Packet

Eeeee... blood (filled packet)

My legs spoil the pics. Hahaha..

Needle inside my flesh... Ouch...

The barang barangs...

The Christmas promotion variety box

More boxes...

Traffic light junction of Serangoon Road and Whampoa North

And a picture post is never complete without pictures of... My baby 1149

After a good wash

CDS Lecture at Business school with fellow CBR 400

1149 km clocked on the speedo

I'm like supposed to be sleeping. Supposed to. Anyway, last week was damn packed. And this week, it will just get worse. 8 more days to term test. 18 more days to shooting. 23 more days to IPPT. gosh...

Last week, activities, activities and a lot of activities. Blood donation, went to CCK for makan, Sheesha with Diyana, test machine at CTE and of course not forgetting work and study.

Next post, pictures. Including those gory pics from blood donation. Super outdated...

I am following Hairin post i guess. Minute words at the end...

Sometimes i wonder, have i changed? I am not changing for anyone but myself... Am i falling... again?

Term test is coming...

First and foremost, luck has been on my side again. Term test timetable are out (happened to saw a post about it when i was spying on someone's blog). Anyway yeah, 9 - 11 December papers. After that, work time.

And today, someone was like telling me that i always talk about bikes... lol. I am trying hard to heed Wen Yuan advice. The advice is to talk about something more related. I guess this age/interest gap is making conversations very boring for my friends. They can't relate to what i am feeling. Unlike when i am talking to the Amrun and all.

Well, i've said this before and i will say it again. Its not about others adopting to me. Its about me adopting to others. I am trying my best to deviate my subject of conversation to things anything else but bike. Its time to adjust the frequency level. And i shan't be talking about NS, bikes, law, Road Traffic matters to 'em. I WILL TRY OK :) I know that biking and all just just bore my class/coursemates. And thats not good.

To riders out there, ride safely. Losing one friend is bad enough. I don't want to lose another friend on the roads. Everytime i tell someone about Wai Leng death, my spine chills. It just give me goosebumps. I'll be paying my last respect tomorrow. I still can't accept the fact that the roads have taken away a friend from me. To my buddies out there, if money permits, BUY A CAR STOP RIDING!!! I don't want to lose anymore friends. Its ok if i'm gone, i've sinned and offended a lot of people but losing a friend its just too hard to swallow (i know i am being selfish here). And yeah, I am not insulting your riding skills, i know that my friends are more than capable of handling a 2 wheeler but sometimes things just happen. When you ask for something, it doesn't happen, when you don't ask for it, it happens. Thats life i guess.

Good night everyone. My chest hurts like hell. I should quit smoking soon. Thank you for reading.

Goodbye my friend

And today i was at AMK when i received a call from Joe. He told me that Wai Leng passed away after being involved in a Road Traffic accident today morning at about 0100 hrs. Paramedics tried to revive her but to no avail.

For once, i was like so afraid of riding. But then again, its not a matter of luck or fate when it comes to road traffic accidents. I don't really know Wai Leng that well to comment on her riding or what.

Condolences to her family. Rest in peace my dear rider friend Wai Leng.

Once again, this is a reminder to riders out there to watch out for other inconsiderate road users. Ride safe, stay alive.

I miss my baby CBR 150 RR

Ok i am supposed to sleep early but then again need to finish PSPS. Thank god after tomorrow it will be a rest for PSPS until next term.

AND I MISS MY BABY FBB 3713 Y!!! MY BABY CBR 150 RR. Aaaarh, how i wish i can own 2 bikes now...

Nights everyone. Thank you for reading. And life seems to get tougher :)

Random topic again

I've learnt my lesson from Hui Ping tag message. NEVER COMPLIMENT HUI PING PUBLICLY OR PRIVATELY!!! Muahahahahaha...

Anyway yeah, i was at work. And today was like a bad day at work. Put the rain and the fact that i only managed to send 25 orders. I was almost killed. Wait, Wandi is exaggerating. Ok i was knocked down by a bloody 'drop-arm' barrier when i was about to enter Sunville condo at St. Michael road. All these is thanks to the stupid security guard and of course thanks to my impatience. Actually, lets blame myself for this. I was super impatient (time is money man!!!). And earlier today, saw my sister and her friend at a traffic light along Serangoon road. She was like driving her 5 months old Honda Fit. Talked for like 2-3 minutes and when the lights turn green i was gone. Lol... I bet she must be thinking, "RECKLESS BOY!!!". If she say that to me, i'll be like, "Hey come on, i am sending pizzas and not on some kind of slow evening ride". Hahahaha... And at Pizza Hut, speed is everything. Speed is super critical. Firstly, speed will avoid complain on late orders and cold food. And of course the most important thing, speed means more order = more money.

I was asking myself this just now "My life is only worth $1-$4/hour. I am like a crazy boy speeding and weaving in and out traffic just to send pizzas fast. Ok wait, i am not speeding cause that stupid pizza hut bike can't speed for god sake. Travelling at 80-100 km/h on a bike is so boring when you are sending pizzas especially along the long stretch at Upper Serangoon Road. How i wished they provide Super Four for delivery. I'm sure there won't be anymore late orders. hahahaha....

Another random topic to talk about today... Hey wait, i've yet to begin on my random topic and my post is already like so many words. lol...

I ask myself this question "When i become a husband one day, will i be a good one?" The reason i asked myself this question is because at the place where i work, it seems that married man are like super occupied with one, work and second a mistress/scandal. And don't get me wrong, womanizing is not only a hobby for young men, it appears to me that even the more senior man are womanizing. Some of these people are like late 40's and early 50's. They are even buying 'viagras' from the nearby TCM to keep their mistress happy. Oh gosh, what is becoming to this world?

First and foremost, i must admit that once, i was a womanizer also. Ok wait, i was not that extreme of having many girls as i lack charisma to entice a whole load of women. Back then and let me emphasize, its BACK THEN!!! i was like seeing another girl when i was with Cherry. Then she got to find out and oh hell break loose. lol... Shakespeare said "Hell hath no fury like woman scorned". Thats true my friends... Hahaha... So i decided to be a good boy when i was with Sri but then again the same thing happened. But at the very least, i have the courtesy to tell Sri that i was going out with a 'friend'. Yeah, she was a friend and i hate no intention to cheat but now i tell myself that its not right to get to know new people and go out with them when you are attached. When you do that, you are giving the other party a reason to do the same. I mean come on man, if you have a girlfriend, why would you wanna know another girl/guy? There must be a reason right (correct me if i am wrong). Official reasons like work don't count. Ok i was not lying but then i guess i did something wrong but then she was like also giving out numbers to guys and etc. Ish ish ish... Gemini and gemini = bad match. hahahaha...

Yeah, back to the topic, sometimes i wonder why men can't be satisfied with one women. Reflecting on what i have done, i myself is unsure why i went out with other girls when i was attached. But now, its a different story i guess, NO MORE WOMANIZING!!! Now, only can BIKENIZING!!! hahahaha....

What is it that your partner cannot provide you in a relationship that you must find another person. This applies to both men and women. I've heard of married women sleeping around with other guys and etc. I've also heard of married men sleeping around with other women. Usually, women seek wealthier men. Thats the trend i've seen when i hear stories from my friend. The most common line i hear from guys is "My girlfriend go out with that guy, ride big bike one (these applies most to the Minahs, the Lians and super sophisticated women will not settle for anything less than a Mitsubishi Lancer. Just look at the in the clubs... Bike NO NO. BMW 5 series, yes yes". Lol... And yeah, that statement is not meant to arrow any of my class/coursemates or schoolmates for that matters. I am just talking about women in general. Until now, my baby Revo have yet to pillion a girl. Hopefully, the first female pillion will be my girlfriend. Ermmm, maybe i should consider reserving the first female pillion status for my future girlfriend :) And the most common line from women is "My boyfriend go out with another girl because she more prettier, bigger butt, breast and etc" But then again, what suprise me most is the fact that these guys are going out with hostess, Indonesian maids, Filipinos and China girls. Oh gosh... No comments. lol. I am not looking down on these foreign talents and etc people but what can't your partner provide you that you find these woman? I wonder. And yeah, i simply can't understand guys who are attracted to big boobs and asses. Personally, i feel that its kinda disgusting if its too enormous. Well, to each his or her own i guess. Your cup of tea need not necessarily be mine :)

For now, i guess i shouldn't be saying things too early as i don't want to be a talking point if such things happen to me. But hopefully, when i get a gf or wife, i won't do such things. I promise and try my best not to. Ok i think i won't. Ok i take back my words, i don't think, I SWEAR i won't.

Lets face this fact that we humans are not perfect and if there's something your partner can't provide you, you should try to convince him/her to try him/her best to meet your demands (i am not talking about sex here). I'm not sure about others but as for me, if i see the effort you put in to make me happy, i think its more than enough. You need not necessarily do what i want. But then again such things are easier said than done. Well, time will tell. I am a person that can be easily satisfied at times. Especially by my loved ones. They say that love is blind. I guess its true.

And Sri had learnt the meaning of initiative very well after being with me for less than half a year. I always tell her this "If i have to tell you what to do, then might as well you don't do it. There's no sincerity if it doesn't come from the bottom of your heart". But then again, i guess i was being to harsh. Sometimes i expect my other half to be like me. I mean i will do anything and i mean anything if i want to. There were times when i was dozing off on expressways just to fetch her from work and etc. All that was because i just want to see her. And thats when i feel like doing it. If i don't, i will tell her straight to the point i don't wish to do it and i have my reasons for it. I remember telling Sri that my bike is not a taxi but then again my close friends always tell me "Wandi your bike like taxi. Always go Changi Aiport, Pasir Ris, Tampines". Knn ccb. lol... And added to the insult, my baby Cbr 150 is yellow in colour and these people call my baby YELLOW TOP!!! Knn... Haha. Sometimes i think i tend to contradict my words. Tell her that its not a cab but end up the CBR is really a cab. Go around fetching my girlfriend from work, school, home and etc. For love i guess. Come on, i feel so worried that a 16 year old girl is coming home late at night. I know this is Singapore but then again, i am very protective of my loved ones. Touch her and thou shall feel Wandi wrath. I don't want and will try to prevent anything bad to happen to her. Thats why she always get a nagging from me when she crosses the road blindly or sms while crossing the road. Wandi will be like "What if a drunk driver just ran you down. You won't see him coming right cause you are busy texting and blah blah blah". Wandi will lecture her. To me, its for her own good but i don't know how she sees it. Being a road user, i know that 90% of Singaporean road users, irregardless of drivers or riders, are jerks. And of course, let me remind this to JANNAH, HAZRIN, HAIRIN, ZACK, NABEEL and whoever for that matter. When Wandi do it, its called love and respect but when Jannah do it, its called remote control. hahahaha...

Nights everyone. Thank you for reading. And yeah, Wandi promise that he won't be a womanizer. Thats a vow :) And Jannah, no offence eh, joking only ah.

I will survive

Hehehehehe.... Ok Wandi is crazy...

I dunno what to talk about but then again Wandi always have something to say... Hahaha... Ok i am crazy... Laughing while blogging alone. Need a pyschiatrist badly.

Lately, i'm like "Life so sian... no money no gf no this no that. Want to suicide la". But then again, when i was in the force, i've seen a lot of times whereby policeman were victims of soap opera.

Many a times, when resource attend to a 309 case, the victim will be like "I wanna kill myself. I want jump and etc. My boyfriend left me blah blah blah". After some coaxing, the victim will not do as planned. So, the moral of the story, people who say they wanna suicide won't suicide. But then again, this does not apply to every situation. And if they really want to kill themself, when the cops arrive, all they have to do is activate paramedics to ascertain that the victim is dead then activate hearse. End of story. Come to collect body only not become part of some kind of tragic love story. Hahaha...

So now, i am like always talking about suicide... I know i won't do it cause i am like talking about it every other hour. So you should start watching my back if i don't talk about suicide. For god knows, i start laughing and joking with you all then next moment you are at my funeral. Don't worry for now, i want to enjoy riding my new baby. Oh ya, i just feel like hopping onto my bike and ride to nowhere. Feel the urge to ride. Maybe one day i should go solo touring in Malaysia.

For now, i WILL SURVIVE!!! I heard that song the other day while on the way to AS canteen. To my schoolmates, let me emphasize, its AS canteen and not IT canteen. hahahaha. So, i will survive this crap. Hopefully. Oh ya, the musicians from my class were surveying how the band played the other day as there was this band performing live but i was more like focusing on the vocalist. The vocalist was a girl and you know Wandi and chocolates... When can i stop looking at girls...? When can i have a gf? I dunno... Oh god, please send me an angel. Errmm, that sounds like the Scorpion song "Send me an angel". hahaha.. Wandi is crazy Wandi is crazy Wandi is crazy.

Gonna sleep now. Working again tomorrow as usual. AND YEAH, I WANT TO QUIT SMOKING FOR GOOD!!! Seems that my fasting month effort is going down the drain. Sianzzz.... I WANNA QUIT SMOKING!!!!

Good night everyone. Thank you for reading.

In Summary

Its been sometime since i've blogged. Time is not on my side lately. Work, school, errands and so many things. A summary is a supposed to be a short post but then again this is gonna be super lengthy post.

First and foremost, CCN day last Friday was kinda fun despite being an 'observer'. And so, Wandi has planted his fishing rod at Applied Science school. But to my horror, my rod just snapped in the middle of nowhere. The CDS girl i've been slowly trying to fish turns out to be a lesbian (possibility). Hahahaha... Thats my intrepretation of course. Hadi said that the reason for the rejection might be because of the fact that she's seeing someone else. But from my point of view, the things that might be stopping the friendship going into another stage is that one, she's not interested, 2, she's lesbian and/or 3, its has to do with colour. I know of girls who don't mind having guy friends of another race but not as the boyfriend. On the other hand, i have a handful of guy friends who just don't see themselves with a girl of different race. Come on la people, why discriminate colour. Hahahaha... Just joking eh... but this kinda thing is about personal preference and i got no preference for colour. My first relationship was with an Indian girl then a Chinese girl then the last one someone who shares the same skin colour as me. Errrm, maybe i should look into Ang Mohs... Afterwhich, i can truly call myself a proud SINGAPOREAN. hahaha. Lol. For now, i am trying very hard to get rid of women in my mind. First, i've been rejected. Secondly, i am so dissapointed with myself for falling in love with lesbians (my interpretation of course. Let me emphasize that whatever is posted here are my intepretations of things that had happen)... That Bryan Adams song "Have you really loved a woman?" does not apply to me... Wandi is in love with lesbian for the second time... Omg!!! This is super lame!!! I hate life!!! And i get so jealous of guys who have girls surrounding them 24 hours. I'm sure you know who i am talking about. I'm not asking for dozens of girls to surround me. I just need one understanding, caring and pillar of emotional (NOT FINANCIAL) support girlfriend. And the search for that girl continues.........

Secondly, i am like in deep financial shit. My gold chain is still with me but i am not putting it on. I am trying to get used to life without a gold chain. My gold chain is somewhere out there with another of my priced possession. And i've been telling people that the chain is at a pawnshop. Know me well and you'll know where that gold chain is. Trying to lead an AH KAU life for now. Well, of course i don't wish for my gold chain to be in a pawnshop but i am preparing for the worse. Life just got tougher with a Super Four in the list of expenses. On Tuesday changed 3 bottles of engine oil. The damage, $72. And this bike gulp down petrol as fast i can finish a can of Redbull. Thats the price for comfort and power. hehehehehe... But then again, running at 160 km/h on expressway makes me feel as if i'm flying without wings... Hahaha... Once the odometer shows 3000 km, its time to hit second link and put the machine to a test :) Maximum speed test that is :) Hadi was telling me how this guy who rides a 150cc claims that he can outrun a 1000cc machine. Hadi and me knows that this guy is crapping to the max. WTF man, if a KR can outrun an R1, i will sell my Super Four and buy a KR. I SWEAR!!! And i still dunno what my pillion thinks of my riding. For once, i think i've become a more relaxed and slow rider when i am on my baby Super Four.

I just feel like talking something random today. I was in Flavours today and i noticed something. This is with reference to para. 2 where i mentioned racial lines. Despite the racial harmony that we are enjoying today, i noticed that there tends to be clicks. And tendency that these clicks are racially divided is very high. I've seen it in Primary School, Secondary School, NS and now polytechnic. Its not that i've not seen a group of Melayus, China peeps and Indians in a group but when i walked into Flavours, I could see Chinatown, Kampung Melayu and Little India. Don't believe me? Have lunch at Flavours tomorrow. Hey wait, no need to go so far, look at your class or walk down to the nearest coffee shop in your neigbourhood and see how they uncles/people are separated. Sometimes i wonder this fact ---> We can work as one without dividing ourselves along racial lines but when it comes to fostering close friendships, most of us tend to choose our friends according to race. I kinda envy Hui Ping and her bestie (i can't recall her name and thats if they are best friend. This is purely from my observation and it may not be true but i think it is true la that they are bestie.). They are of a different race but they click along so damn well. I used to have a close Chinese friend when i was in Sec 2. We were like blood brothers. See David and you'll see Wandi. See Wandi and you'll see David. But somehow, i dunno what made us drift apart. I guess it could be interest. Oh well, my click of friends are only lacking of Indian peeps.... Come on man, bring the Tamalee... I mean the 5 musketeers consist of Amrun, John, Shahril, Shaun and me. We have no Indian friends. I think its time to find one. UNITED WE STAND. hahahaha... And i dunno about other races but Melayu people like to convince you, gain sympathy and etc by using race. I remembered one of the seniors who said this "Hey, come join the club la. Now a lot of their race (referring to Chinese peeps). At least you'll join, got more of our people (this is super broken english cause its translated". I was like taken aback by her words. Coming from the Police Force, i expect my seniors to have some level of professionalism. You don't hear people in the force making such remarks. Errmm, at that point of time, i reminded myself that i'm in school and NS is over. In school, seniors don't give a hell about professionalism and etc. They are students afterall. Why must colour separate people? Can't we just live with each other without discrimination, enjoy each other company, understand each others culture/background and most importantly speak one language. The English Language. Life is weird.

And yeah, this post is not intended to inflict racial tensions and etc. After my observation, i decided to pour out my opinions on this topic. In his National Day Rally speech, PM Lee mentioned about responsible blogging. I'm very confident that i am blogging responsibly and my words are not meant/intended to insult others or their race :) Cheers people... At the very least, thank the government for putting so much effort in ensuring that we are living together peacefully in Singapore with little or no racial tensions. Lets celebrate racial harmony day next year. hahahaha...

Women and random topics aside. At work, there have been a power transfer. My former IC got kicked out as he was found manipulating hours and he got a damn bloody bad temper. There are so much politics at work. I can't believe it. This is kinda work also got politics. Then again, all these doesn't concern me. My concern is that i come to work on time, do as told and at the end of the day, i get my pay accurate and prompt. What is going to happen to you all, its none of my business. Same applies to school. I come to school with a goal of attaining a diploma at the end of 3 years. In the course of attaining a diploma, what is compulsory, i will do. Other stuffs like camps and etc, if time permits i will do attend. If not, i'm sorry, my priority is the diploma and nothing else. The first item of my list of my priorities is my dip then comes work and bike. And of course, making friends are important. After making friends, i think i must learn to understand them tune my frequency to theirs. As of now, i think i've failed.

I think i need a pillar of comfort as i've said earlier. Someone who i can fall back on when i am in this state. I miss the days when i was with Cherry. She was such a good girl. I was a nasty boyfriend back then. Sianzzz.... No use crying over spilled milk. And I feel so sucky now. So many things to do. Aircon, Leadership, PSPS, Maths, DFUND, work, bike maintenance, RESERVIST and an endless list of things. GOSH!!! Please make it a 48/day instead of 24.

When all the problems come to me at one go, i feel like taking a ride on my bike, find the best corner to play with, open the VTEC and run straight into the railing. No one except God knows that that road traffic accident is a suicide attempt. Oh gosh, why am i talking about suicide? I still have one more thing that keeps me going and that is...

Well, the only thing that keeps me going now is school. Not my bike or whatever. Despite all these stress and 6 hour sleep per day, i still feel a sense of enthusiasm whenever i am heading for school. I dunno why. If the enthusiasm dies, then Wandi shall follow suit. School rocks and work sucks!!! I realise that i am kinda good at hiding all that crappy feeling when in public :) The mask as said in the DISC profiling assessment. Well done Wandi, put the troubles aside when you are in public. Hey wait, then again, this blog is for public reading too. Lol... Contradictary words.

After that personality profiling assessment thingy, even my Leadership tutor is like "You are leading a very tight life". Lol... She can even know what i am going through just by assessing some stupid graphs that at times i don't understand. Ermmm, i have no one to blame but myself. I put myself in this situation. I will try to get out of it asap. I have 2 more years to go... I hope i can last... And don't worry, i won't jump into a Tigers' den. Its not inside my suicide plans. Jumping from height is also out. I am afraid of heights :)

Nights everyone. Thanks for reading this super lengthy post. Shed some light into my life someone. Singapore pools please draw my number soon.... Hahahaha. Good night people.

Rolling good times...

And i love this week. I have time to finish up my assignments and etc. But have yet to study or prepare for IPPT which is on 2nd December 2008. Oh gosh, why are they forcing me to take IPPT and come back? Hahahaha...

With all the good things coming, one bad thing is here. Officially, i am in financially difficulty. And contrary to that, i've just applied for a student credit card. oh gosh. I'm covered with loans. bike loans, this loan that loan. I am dead. Its just a matter of time before i separate with my beloved gold chain. Oh god, someone please help me. Sianzzz....

Thank you for reading. Good night....AAAAARRRGGHHH!!!! Someone out there help me!!!!

Rain rain go away come again another day

And so lately it had been raining quite a lot. I am more of a sun person. Don't really favour the rain. Its like gonna restrict my movement. I never like the rain when i have plans. I will like get wet on the roads. No bike = no Wandi. hahahaha.

Last year during this time of the year, the roads became grave to many riders and drivers out there. This year, i think it will be the same. Whenever the rainy season come, many lives tend to be lost on the roads. I remember that there was a point of time during this period that almost every week one or two rider will be sacrificied on the roads. As much as i am reminding my fellow rider friends out there, i am also reminding myself to ride safely so that we can stay alive and ride a class 2 bike. hahaha....

But on a serious note, ride safely people. Wet roads mean lesser grip during corners and longer braking distances (despite having the best tyres you can find in the market). Heavy rain will also reduce visibility and therefore you will take more time to react to emergencies like an idiot taxi driver swerving into your lane or slamming his brakes.

I always tell my close friends this, "Its ok if Wandi if i die on the roads (just don't forget to sing Tiada Lagi Kidungmu :) ) but i don't want to lose any friends, close or distant as a result of a road traffic accident". I know i am being selfish here but thats also the reason why i am ultra careful when i am having a pillion. Wandi die = ok, pillion die = I will make sure it doesn't happen!!

Anyway back to work, today i was like cursing and swearing intially. I was like super drenched due to the rain. Rain or shine, pizza hut delivery still goes on. Rain means that i won't be able to perform crazy stunts and i can't ride fast (i only managed to send 12 orders today). But it was actually a blessing in disguise.

First and foremost, i went to an order at Joo Seng Road and got a $4 tip :) Then another $2 tip at Serangoon despite forgetting a bottle of Pepsi. The customer at Serangoon was asking me some questions. I couldn't answer so i decided to call store to check it out but then here's what the customer said "Hey never mind, i know you are in a rush. When you get back to your outlet, you check it out and give me a call. I was a rider before, i understand you are pressing for time. Ride safely". I was like so touched by his sense of understanding. This is the 2nd customer out of the hundreds i've served thus far.

So there are people out there who understand that you are putting your life at risk just to send them food to their home. They can be at home fucking their wife or girlfriend for that matter while waiting for the food to come. While they are happily fucking their loved one, we Pizza hut riders are like monkeys, speeding, cornering and weaving in and out of traffic to get to their place in time so that they get their food hot and fresh irregardless whether it rain, shine or there's a thunderstorm going on. My theory of friendly customers applies to Westerners mostly. Westerners aka ANG MOH appreciate it. They greet you with a smile and welcome you. Most SINGAPOREANS, sadly, will pull a long face and give you that fucked tup attitude. I know that you are paying for my service but then i didn't ask you to call. You can always walk down to the nearest Pizza Hut outlet to fill your stomach but because of your laziness, you decided to call us and when we come, you act as if we are owe your a living. Oh gosh, there are times when i just don't understand people. Well, i can't change that. They are kings. We are just riders. We are thrash in their eyes i guess. They think that without them we will die. We will be unemployed. Well, think what you want. I can't change your thinking but i can change mine :) For me, i'm here to work, at the end of the day, all i want is my pay.

So that was the good thing number 1 that happened at work. Now, good thing number 2. Out of 12 orders i sent today, i think i met quite a fair share of chocolate customers. But none of them attracted me as much as the last one. When she opened the door, i was like "Omg, cute nye dia". lol... But then again, after looking at her for the second time, i realised that well, she's not that pretty, her figure is rather flat. No curves and etc. Until now, i don't know what she is it that i was like in dreamland when i saw her. Love at first sight? sheesh... I don't believe in that. Maybe looks and money are not that important in love. So what if she's ugly or poor :) All she need to have is a heart of gold not a body fully decorated with gold. Hahaha... Ok back to the story. I have half the mind to like drop her a message or something. I don't need to ask for her number. I have her number. In fact, i even got her address. Hahahaha... Then then then then then, i walked off, got on the Pizza Hut bike and rode back to outlet. While on the journey back, i told myself "Aiyah, just enjoy the moment when you see chocolates. Come on Wandi, don't forget, AKU HANYA SERANGGA!!!!".

Now, i think its time to put women aside. Then again i am like desperately in need of companionship/girlfriend. But no one wants Wandi. But even if i have a girlfriend, i don't think i'll be a good boyfriend. I won't have time to spend with my girlfriend. And i don't think i can afford a girlfriend. Life oh life... So for now, lets just follow what BPR said in AKU HANYA SERANGGA "I become a fan of you, after i know in this forest, i am just an insect :)"

Alright alright... Enough of talking for now, good night everyone. Its time for my much needed sleep. Sore eyes, slight fever and fatigue are all getting me now. Need a 24 hour sleep. Hahaha...

Good night. Thank you for reading :)

Powered by Red Bull

And so, today Wandi blew up at aircon class with the teacher of all people. Omg, lately i have been having mood swings. Oh gosh, the days 0f 2003 are back. Lol... Thank god all i did was to snatch the quiz question paper from the teacher. Luckily, i didn't proceed further with any verbal or physical assault. At the very least, i've changed a bit. And i am still waiting for someone to reply my FRIENDSTER MESSAGE!!! If you happen to read this, oh please reply!!! hahaha... Well, thats not enough of course. I MUST change. I guess its just lack of sleep. I haven't had a good sleep. Its been sometime. And yeah, i love Tuesdays. I have so much time for myself. I can do my school work, blog, sleep, slack and etc. I am sorry guys/girls/bapoks/pondans/lesbians/gays if i have been treating you all with cruelty lately. Nothing personal. Just fatigue.

I don't think i will live life till 65 as planned. First and foremost, i am maximing my body to the limit. 5/6 hours of sleep will do everyday will do. There are instances where i only have 2 hours of sleep and to ensure that i don't sleep in lessons (at times i do) and be able to pull through the day, i drink tons of Red Bull. Today, i had 4 cans of Red Bull. Its like a daily need. Ok this is bad. Before NS, it was coca-cola diet, now Red Bull diet. Gosh!!! Green Tea and plain water diet please Wandi!!! And lets not forget that my family background is full of people with diabetes. Grandma, mum, aunts, uncles... Will i be the next one? Hey wait, i can't afford to get my legs chopped off!!! I want to ride a damn 1000cc bike!!!

Well, i have no one to blame but myself for all these suffering. Hadn't i took out my baby 1149, i can enjoy life. Haha. But then again, nothing beats the feeling of riding a 400cc machine. New found love i guess. It just feel so good riding my baby. And lately, i realise that whenever i am on my baby 1149, i tend to be very peaceful. No more crazy corner cutting, high speed riding, weaving in and out of traffic, harsh breaking and acceleration. Have i turned into an angel on the road or is it just the 'running in' syndrome? I love speed but i love my bike more so for the first 3000 km, i shall not test the machine i guess. Let the machine 'warm up' first. Well, i hope i stay alive long enough to ride a 1000cc machine. I am having doubts of my safety on the road when i am on the bloody wave... I ride like a crazy dog just for the sake of earning more docket money. When on a powerful machine i am relaxed and composed but when on a 125cc machine, i get crazy. Weaving in and out, crazy corners, harsh breaking and acceleration. The total opposite as when i am on my baby. lol... Living up to the saying "BE A RACER NOT A RACIST!!!!"Well, Wenyuan will know that i am a peace rider now. He had been on my baby for the past 2 Fridays. I dunno what he thinks about my riding but honestly, i think i have tone down a lot when riding my personal machine. And yeah, there's like a damn bloody political confrontation at work. Oh god, i can't believe that such 'no prospect' job also got politic. lol.

I am supposed to sleep early today but thanks to PSPS, Aircon, Leadership, blogging and endless list of things, i think the earliest i will call it a day is 2330 hrs. Someone save me please. I need to sleep early.

Oh ya, i saw this ad about a 'student' Credit card. Now my hands are itchy. Ermmm, $500 credit limit... Lemme seee... I think, i think, i think i can get a new GPR exhaust pipe with that... Hehehehehe....

Nights everyone. Sorry everyone for being moody these few days. I know i am not diplomatic and have been very offensive with my words and actions lately when you get on my nerves. Sorry man... Its just fatigue... Nothing personal... Thank you for reading people :)

After so called proof reading, i realised that i tend to jump topics in one paragraph. lol... Lets blame fatigue... hahahaha... ok thats bad. blame no one but myself. Why blame others when shit happens? Ok this is my fault. I know i am talking nonsense... hahahahahahahaha...

Once again, thank you for reading. Nights everyone.

G801 first class bbq

And so, yesterday Wandi was drunk and incapable during the class barbeque. Thank god my classmates didn't leave me alone. I could have woke up in 'G' division lock up if they had left me alone.

Anyway, first things first. The class bbq was a 8 out of 10 event. It didn't got 10 cause Wandi never rates anything 10. Nothing is perfect despite the saying "Practice makes perfect". It didn't get 9 because there was a minor hiccup. We ran short of drinks. It got 8 because there was only one minor and i mean really minor hiccup which was the drink part. After going through countless ops and events, i will say i am impressed with my classmates who were part of the organising team. I was anticipating for something major to go wrong but good grace nothing big went wrong. The turnout was rather encouraging too. In short, the event was a success. We can now look at bigger events like class chalet etc.

For the success of this event, appreciation have to go to:

The twin, Hazrin and Hairin - The men who made something happened out of nothing.

Haji Min - Travelling all the way from the west to carry things like water dispenser and ice box.

Chief Cook, Gurpreet - For the delicious noodles and of course the Jim Bean that made me drunk :)

Nabeel - For the kima and pati or whatever you call it.

Last but not least, to those in attendance. Your presence made the event a successful one. Without people, a party is not a party.

And to the critics, thanks for critisizing. When you critisize, i learn from your critisizm but when you praise me, i learn nothing. Whether your critisizm were constructive critisizm or not, i will learn something from it :)

Finally, Wandi would like to apologize to everyone for being so drunk that i could do nothing but sleep. I guess its a case of excessive drinking. I've failed myself. I should had got hold of my self and drank moderately. If i had said or did something offensive whilst i was drunk, dui bu qi/minta maaf/sorry. Well, i am still alive now which means i am capable of handling my machine despite being drunk. Ok wait, i was sober enough to ride after a few hours. Thus, i am not guilty of drink riding. Haji Min can attest to that.

Pictures of the bbq can be viewed at http://www.bdkdualnho4.blogspot.com/.

Side track a bit, i was once again reminded that i should not influence my friends to do evil things. I tend to get fingers pointed at when my friends do something wrong. I am not aiming anyone but eerrm... maybe i should get friends to do 'good' things instead of committing evil deeds :)

People say that friends play a big influence in your life. Too me, thats nonsense. Its all about yourself. You are in charge of your life. I know and work with people who are always popping pills but i don't do it. When you point one finger at others, you have 3 fingers pointing back at you. My life principle is simple. Booze, cigarettes and sex (with your loved one of course and not promiscuosly) but no drugs. Do good things and feel good. Build good karma. And most importantly, be responsible for your actions.

Good night everyone. Sorry for being an idiot during class bbq. Thanks for reading.

Night Rider...

And so Wandi is back from another round of night riding. Yesterday, i couldn't sleep, so in the middle of the night i was riding aimlessly. Without a destination to go. I need a psychiatrist. I am riding alone in the middle of the night. Sleep riding? No, i wasn't sleeping. I couldn't sleep. Well, maybe the running in syndrome.

Today, i rode again. At night. Its with Amrun this time. And yeah, its good to know that Amrun have confidence sitting on my bike. Hahaha.... 20 years of experience. lol... Nah, but its just good to know you have friends who are confident in your capability of handling your machine. Terima Kasih for the compliment :)

Here are the pictures... Trying to upload a crazy video showing the speedo while i was like running at 140 km/h.

**P/S: Pictures and videos were taken by Amrun thus i am not guilty of using a mobile phone while riding. Also, pictures and videos were taken when the road was so damn empty and there were no cars in front of me. If you try to attempt what i do and get into an accident, i shall bear no responsibilities. Cheers... Once a rider always a rider. Ride Safely my friends :)

2/3 of Band of the brothers

Slow speed along KPE (TPE)

Rear view in KPE (TPE)

Last Saturday bike washing session. More of Shahril photography skill.

Video is kinda blurry. Try to enjoy the video. If you can't, thank you for reading. Good night :)

The weekend

And yeah, the weekend is over. Back to school. So looking forward to going to school. Work sucks. And yeah, it seems that my so called 'AH LONG' image is saving me from scolding from top management at work. Hehehe.... But well, you talk to me nicely, i talk to you nicely. You talk to me like a dog, i shall you show you my AH LONGness irregardless of your status. Director, manager, i dun care. Respect me and i'll respect you :)

So the weekend, i washed my new darling. Now, its time for pictures... Oh gosh, i wanna cry... Miss my bumble bee... Errmm, yeah 300 km and counting... Can't wait to go 2nd link upon reaching 1000 km... :)

And yeah, thanks to the young and dangerous photographer Shahril for the beautiful pictures..

At the Island Resort

Once again, Island Resort

After polishing... Oh baby she's so shining

Machine and Wandi the slave...





Beautiful shots courtesy of Shahril...

Farewell to FBB 3713 Y...

My CBR 150 RR had been a good servant and there's nothing more she deserve than a farewell post :) I'll miss her. Even the song on my blog is a tribute to her :)


The final moments...


At town with her best buddy bike

The boys toys (From left), Fino, GMAX, WR, CBR 150 RR and Wave 125

The days of VESPA and CBR 150 RR

Hahaha... The license plate with my ex-girlfriend name on it.

How it look when it just came out of the shop

Now, leave me alone... Its time for some mourning... muahahahaha.

Hehehehe....

I can't sleep. I am too happy now. At last, the wait is over. My baby is here. And yeah, i miss my old bike. Oh gosh, i'm gonna cry. I'll miss her a lot. Thanks for being such a good bike :) I'll miss you. And you'll always be a part of me :)

Its only the first day and i've already clocked 100 km. Hehehe... I can't eat, i can't sleep, i don't feel like doing any other thing except for riding my new bike. I can't get to test the VTEC!!! So far i've been a good boy, riding at only 95 km/h max!!!

And i shall be a good boy and go to school every day from now onwards. Sorry TP for skipping school today. Hehehe...

And here are the pictures.

Disastrous Day

Today is such a disastrous day. First, the bike shop didn't call. Next, i was having a super migraine and now my left eye hurts. Must be due to the prolonged wear of lense. Migraine, i don't know. Brain tumour probbie.

I already have no mood to do anything and now i was treated like a ball. They sent me to KUCC to cover 2 orders as KUCC were down on riders. I was like... WTF!!! So, after i sent the order i went to Island Resort to eat snake with the Regional Boys...................................................................................................................

i have so many things to talk about but i am in no mood to blog, eat, work, study. I never hated school. I always loved going to school but i am going to skip school tomorrow. I hate just my life at this point in time. I am going to skip school until i get my bike. If i don't get my bike today, i will cancel the deal and get a new bike from another shop. I know this sounds ridiculous, childish, immature and etc but i dun give a fuck. I have no mood now.

Sorry guys, by the time you read this, my mobile will be switched off. I will reject all means of communication. I just want to wake up and collect my bike. For now, let me be alone. Nothing else. Nothing personal.

Sorry.... Thank you for reading.

Sianzzz...

I am getting sick and tired of the waiting game the bike shop is making me play. First, it was 2-3 days after the COE bidding day. Then he said Wednesday or Thursday. Now he said Friday or Saturday. If i don't get my bike by Thursday, i think i will cancel the deal. I have no mood for nothing now!!! No mood for work, school, eat or sleep. I am getting pissed. I hate this crap.

And yeah, Leadership CDS. I kinda hate the lecturers there despite having good classmates. I kinda love the subject eventhough the lecturers suck. I assume that these lecturers aren't from Engine school. The tutorial lecturer can't talk properly. As in she have no sense of tactness. She is like 'colouring' people. Indirectly. And she still have the cheek to talk about respect and things like 'A leader should lead by example'. Sheesh, talking about such stuffs in a Leadership tutorial but not doing it. A good example of no action, talk only. Talk is cheap la and empty vessels make the most noise la and here we have a good example. If she's some my classmates/coursemate or something i will forgive her la. Even me, if i say something that is insulting, i seek forgiveness but a lecturer behaving this way? Unacceptable!!! Lack professionalism.

And now, the lecture lecturer. I assume that he have something against Engine kids. He's like i can see the Engineer faces in you all and etc. What is the message you are trying to put across here? And yeah, here's the most classic line that stupid lecturer said "Unlike Engineering skill which may be obselete in the coming years, LEADERSHIP is a life skill".

Undoubtly, i have to agree that Leadership is a life skills. My question now is "ARE THE THINGS THAT WE ARE LEARNING BE USELESS? WHATS THE POINT OF LEARNING SOMETHING OBSELETE. Just look at the colour codes of wires (Neutral, Live and Earth) that we are using in labs, its no longer in use for future applicagions". I dunno how obselete will what we are learning be but it seems that thats what the lecturer is trying to say. Thats how i see it.

But then again, in Singapore, learning does not stop. Upgrading and upgrading. You stop learning, your pay stop increasing. Thats Singapore. Welcome to Singapura. Hahaha...

Going to work now. Thanks for reading.

Oh God!!!

Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Its 3 days since i started my baby and rode her. Hahahaha... Just went to town for a cuppa just now with the CBR 150 boys and girls. After like 3 days of not riding, i felt different. For once, the machine feels more powerful, responsive and yeah nice to engage corners with (I was like riding Pizza hut for the weekend before this).

Anyway, many people have been against the idea of me getting a $20k loan for my new baby. Oh gosh, after i signed the papers i am doubting my actions. I don't know if i will regret buying that Super Four. Now, i am eagerly waiting for the arrival of my new bike. Did i make the correct decision? I dunno. I hope so. I hope i can at least last for 3 years without changing machine. Oh god help me!!!

And i've seen people putting up wishlist on their blogs...

The first thing on my wishlist will be....

GIRLFRIEND!!!! I need one!!! Caring, loving, supportive, HONEST not a money and bloodsucker!!! Hahaha... Dream on Wandi Dream on.... Ok i am joking here but well if it comes, it comes if not next please!!!

This is the thing that i am aiming for now. Look at the pic. Do you know what is this?

YOSHIMURA FULL SYSTEM EXHAUST PIPE

Thanks motoworld for the pic.

The last time i heard about the price, its about $1.6k. Ok after i get a girlfriend, i am getting this!!! lol.. Hahaha... But then again maybe i should get this first. Hahahaha.

Night everyone... Thanks for reading.

Feeeeeling...

Hahaha... Lately have been adding English 'Jiwangs' to my collection of crying songs. lol. Be prepared to hear them on my blog... Feeling sentimental lately. Hey wait, i've always been like that. Jiwangs... And yeah, its not only sentimental Malay songs. Its going English now. But but but, sorry my friends, most of the songs that i hear are from the 80's/90's. If you are looking out for new songs, you got the wrong blog. Songs composed before the year 2000 just please my ear better compared to those that are composed after year 2000.

Hahaha... old man like to listen old songs. 20 years i listen music... Muahahaha....

For now i will bring you back to the 90's with Always by Bon Jovi :)

Good night everyone. Thanks for reading... Work again tomorrow.

Boring...

Lunch with Twins, Jannah and her classmates. I'm feeling very very de bored now. Everyone is looking forward to Friday. Last day of the week for school afterwhich enjoy... For me, its like work days. Hahaha.... Nvm its ok. As long, as i get to ride that Super Four everything will be fine.

Anyway, while on the way back, saw this driver who made a fool out of himself. At the bend entering to PIE from Tampines Ave 5, i saw this off-peak car engaging the bend at 85 km/h. Oh ya, the roads are wet as its drizzle. I was like "Wah terror, rainy day still want to play corner". Then i followed behind him, clocking 68 km/h on the device at the bend, then i saw him 'attempting' a drift. lol... He thinks this a what? Tokyo drift ah? Watch too much movies la... He actually lost control of his vehicle and nearly kissed the railings. In my mind, i was like "WTF!!! I thought he hero can take bends at high speed on wet roads then i realised that he's a clown". Can't control the machine wanna act like racer. Sheesh, no wonder Singapore got a lot of accidents. I was like riding very carefully as the roads were wet and here we have a hero that think that the road is his racing track. If he can control his vehicle, i shut my mouth but then he can't. lol... After that, he kept on the left lane of the expressway and drove slowly. I guess that he's either paiseh or his balls dropped after that encounter.

I think i am going crazy. I am like talking to myself before i sleep every night. I will be like "Ok, i got PSPS reasearch, Leadership research, then must make new passport and this weekend work". Oh gosh. What got into me? I think i need a physchologist if not you'll either see me at IMH or dead. hahaha...

And yeah, i am getting tired of waiting for the stupid bike shop to call me to collect my bike. Sianzz...

Thanks for reading. For now, nappy time. I need to work later.

Random thoughts... Student or School?

And so last week my dad son was choosing his secondary school. I was kinda disturbed after hearing the comments he made. I asked him why didn't he choose St Andrew School as he's in St Andrew Junior school.

Conversation went like this:

Wandi - Hey boy, why never choose St Andrew?

Dad Son - Alamak, cut off point only 188. So lousy school.

Wandi - Oh ok...

I was like... So there's an air of arrogance here. He thinks he's that damn good. I know that he scored 25+ for his prelims. Well, i'm being a sour grape here as i know i cannot achieve such greatness. But he's choosing school out of his reach. For example, he choose NUS High and RI. Their cut-off are 28+. What is someone with a cut off of 25+? You are at the bottom of the list my boy.

But then i choose not to appraise my dad of this as he might think that i am jealous.

Well, i am a bit jealous as there was no one to guide me when i was studying back then. And thats the reason why i am in poly now!!! I should had been in poly 5 years back after my O's. Well, a longer path i guess. Then again i will not forgive my dad for this. I should be riding a CBR 1000 instead of CBR 150. hahaha. Hey wait, did i even study for my PSLE and O's? I can't recall. I only remember that i studied for my maths O's last year. But then i didn't do well. I got a C6. Sianzzz... Studying doesn't work for me. hahaha.

Anyway yeah, so does it mean that if you go to a neigbourhood school, you will be a bad student? You won't get into a university? Does it mean that if you go to top school you'll be a top student? You answer that question.

As for me, personally, if you tell me that a school will mould you to be a better student, then its just like saying "Motorcycle is dangerous". The same theory applies. Its about man not machine. In this context, its about you and not your school. Should i blame Temasek Poly (TP) if i don't get into a university? Should i blame TP if i get a pathetic paying job? I won't and i swear i won't. If i don't get into a university or get a lousy paying job, i have no one but myself to blame. Just like if i die on the roads, when i am in hell, i will tell myself "Oh Wandi, you have such a lousy foresight and riding skills thats why you died on the road. Its better that you die and not kill others or your friends".

There's always a tendency of us to point fingers at others when something goes wrong. Just like when i broke up with Shamine, Cherry and Sri, i was like "Oh, she's a bitch. Asshole!!! Blah blah blah...". As time pass by, i realised that its not totally their fault. I played a part in this relationship and i'm sure i've made some if not many mistakes that cause the relationships to fail. Oh gosh, now it set me thinking... Have i changed? I hope i had... To be a better boyfriend if i ever become one. Ahem ahem... Ok no women no cry, no Super Four i die... lol.

As for my dad son, hahaha good luck for your future eh. A top student may not necessarily be a top worker. They way i see it, no doubt that you might be a top scholar one day but then will you be a good worker? I don't know. Time will tell. I've gone through life the hardway. I know you won't go the same path as me. At the very least, you have your parents to guide and support you. All i had when i was in secondary school was Cherry, when she left, i had no one. Then came my pillar of support, Amrun followed by Shahril. Now i guess everything is going haywire. Everyone has their own commitments and i can't rely on them too much. I'll be a lost boy soon. Maybe if my friendship fail, i shall start looking at what i've done wrong... Taking pictures in threes??? lol...I think i should start being super superstitious from now.

About my life, sometimes i wonder whether am i reflecting the true Wandi in real life. Without a doubt, everytime you see me, it will be jokes and laughter, the talkative Wandi but am i really what i am or is all this a pretence. Just because i don a gold necklace around my neck and will be having my new baby soon doesn't mean i will be truely happy. I myself don't know whether i am really happy or just pretending. I am really confused now. Is there a shortcut to happiness? Death maybe? Ok, i should stop this 309 tendencies.

COE bidding tomorrow. I think i shall put all the unhappiness aside and focus on my new baby. And remember this, if i'm going to hell, i am going to hell on a Super Four :)

***And i know if Hui Ping reads this post, she will be like "Wandi is being political again". There's a reason why i am in Leadership for my CDS ok. You are looking at your next PM. Hahahaha. Anyway, its nothing political ok!!! Its just my random thoughts...

For now, goodnight everyone. Thank you for reading.